Property:Letterofmotivation
From Tsadra Foundation Advanced Contemplative Scholarships
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I've known i wanted to do long-term retreat ever since meeting Kalu Rinpoche in the 70's and later Lama Norlha at Kagyu Thubten Choling Retreat Centre (3yr.retreat Kalu Rinpoche Centre) in 1982 ; however i was not ready yet at that time. Although there is probably no "right time" to do retreat, it seems that now is the right time for me since i've pretty much lived out my active work life; or at least i've gone as far as i care to go at this time and now need to focus more on my own practise so as to progress on the spiritual path in a more concentrated way . Of course my practise has been maturing all along but you probably know what i mean... i need to get some solid experience and hopefully some measure of realization. Naturally, the 3-yr. retreat would be a unique opportunity to receive the empowerments, authorizations and instructions of the Dudjom Lineage and hence would facilitate my progress more than if i were to continue practising on my own in Montreal. Later, following retreat and depending on what my teacher, Lama Tharchin Rinpoche, says, perhaps i'll either continue in retreat or take up active work life again but in another direction than currently as a clinical social worker where i am considerably limited by the structure and technocracy of the MinistŹre de la SantŽ et des Services Sociaux ( Quebec Ministry of Health and Social Services).
If i do continue in the helping professions i would like it to be in a different way. I no longer wish to limit my activity towards others by working strictly within the modalities of the western helping professions (eg. clinical social work in my case) since i find that framework too restrictive. That is to say, for several years now i've wanted to do something which would integrate aspects of the western helping modalities with Tibetan contemplative practise so as to help people tap the ultimate source of healing i.e. their Natural State. It's been my experience that helping people to connect with the nature of their mind is the best form of healing possible so i'd like to include this type of focus more and more in my work with others, something which i cannot do so easily in my present work situation, as i just said above. Naturally, in order to do that i need to develop my own practise and get some solid realization so i don't end up like some people out there who are doing questionable stuff and calling it Dharma. So that is part of my motivation...to continue to help but in a different way and based on good progress on the Path not on some book learning or on my very limited experience.
But even as i write this i'm reflecting on the fact that maybe the best way for me to help others might be to just stay in retreat for what's left of my short life (presently 58 yrs. old) so as to concentrate on becoming enlightened . Anyways, we'll see what happens in the future but for now this 3-yr. retreat seems to be what i should be doing and the rest will take care of itself i'm sure. There are just too many variables right now for me to know where things will be at in my life 4 years from now . So i hope this gives you an idea of why i would like to do the 3yr. retreat at Pema Osel Ling California in 2012. In brief, to ''become Enlightened for myself and others'' seems to be the simplest way to put it even though it may sound a bit clichŽ.
My first Buddhist teacher, Taitetsu Unno, taught me about compassion in 1990, and what it was like to just sit. I began seeking a Buddhist teacher in 1998, having dog-eared the books of Sogyal RinpochŽ and other great lamas. I met Khandro RinpochŽ in Austin, Texas in 2000. She was dynamic and compelling, but not my teacher. Then I met Tulku Thubten RinpochŽ, and took refuge immediately. In short time, he led me to Lama Tharchin RinpochŽ, and I was home. I have been so very fortunate to have studied with RinpochŽ, and the lamas close to him, for nearly 10 years now, and to have completed four years of intensive retreat under his guidance. I have received the full path of Vajrayana Buddhism within the Dudjom Tersar Lineage. Since I first met Vajrayana, I felt an intense connection to the practices of ThrÅ¡ma and ChÅ¡d, and have engaged in three intensive ThrÅ¡ma retreats. Our 3-year retreat was originally scheduled to include ThrÅ¡ma as the Dakini practice, but instead we were given the full cycle of Khandro Thuk Thik, a great blessing. The current Drubdra retreat will be centered around the ThrÅ¡ma cycle, much as our retreat centered on Nam Chak Putri. I have for many years intensely desired to practice the extensive ThrÅ¡ma sadhana, receive teachings on ChÅ¡d and the Dzogchen level practices. It would fulfill my heartÃs longing to receive these teachings from Lama Tharchin RinpochŽ, knowing this could be the last time he will give them, and to learn directly from him the extensive practices, including yangs and rituals. I feel a special calling to be one of the students who can carry forth this particular set of sadhanas and practices, within this lineage. I have confidence in my capacity to learn, integrate and preserve these teachings, and consider it a very precious opportunity to serve my lama.
When I began the 3-year retreat in 2005, RinpochŽ allowed me to continue my ChÅ¡d practice, as appropriate, in my sparse free time. It truly did sustain me, and I look forward with great joy to the prospect of delving fully into these practices. Doing this retreat will allow me the great benefit of deepening my understanding and practice of Tsalung, TrekchÅ¡d and TÅ¡gal. One three-year retreat is a great blessing, (especially if itÃs four years long!) but after this year to work and reflect on my experiences, I feel ready to engage once more in study and meditation, refreshed and more able to integrate all I have learned, with further practice. My great aspiration is to one day be able to teach, especially the younger generation, at a basic level, whether ngÅ¡ndro, Tibetan language, or ritual aspects of the lineage which cannot be left to fade away. I would also like to support future retreatants as a mentor. I hope to combine my past teaching career with dharma to serve the future needs of the sangha. Thank you so much for considering my application.
Sincerely,
Sarah C. Beasley
Even though I was completely new to Vajrayana and had no idea what I was getting myself into, from the first moment I ever considered doing three-year retreat, I knew somewhere in my heart that it was the only meaningful choice I could make with my life. I knew that it was a precious opportunity that I was extraordinarily fortunate to have, but honestly I donÅt think I even knew why. Considering the wonderful life I had before and all the other opportunities IÅve had, itÅs quite a miracle that I ever made it here. I can only attribute my ambition and complete lack of obstacles to Lama Tharchin RinpocheÅs blessings. After a very short time in Drubdra, I became fully aware of just how special this situation is, and all the (previously mysterious) reasons why I was compelled to be here. The fact that I get to receive teachings on a regular basis from such a master, has never stopped amazing me. My faith and gratitude to Rinpoche increases exponentially every day. The fact that I have the circumstances to practice these profound teachings all day long makes me feel like the luckiest man in the world. I am overwhelmed with joy that my karma is such.
I think the best part is seeing my practice evolve, however slow, and to experience first hand that the teachings really work. It is this taste that inspires me the most to stay in retreat. It is one thing to believe that we all have the potential for realization because our Lama says so. It is entirely different to actually know and feel this potential. It often feels as if Rinpoche has fed me a spoonful of enlightenment, just enough to taste it, and it is so indescribably sweet that I canÅt imagine pursuing anything else with this life.
On the other hand, there is so much that IÅm confused about, and so much that I never understood because I was so new to the Dharma coming into retreat. It is clear to me that I need a lot more time to resolve my doubts and establish my mind in the teachings. I am very fulfilled by my experience so far, and yet at the same time feel like a half-baked roast; not quite cooked enough to be taken out. I long for a deeper understanding of the Dharma, both experientially and intellectually. I canÅt imagine a better place than this to continue that quest.
Along with (and because of) all of this, I have also developed a passion for learning the Tibetan language. Although I have only just begun to scratch the surface, it is truly inspiring to understand a few things directly from texts or RinpocheÅs mouth. Having recognized the value of this kind of understanding, it has become extremely important for me to become fluent. I intend to move towards that goal over the next four years of retreat, as it has only enhanced my practice so far.
My experience with retreat has grown richer with every passing day. I am perpetually amazed that it just keeps getting more and more profound. As one thing builds upon the next and my concepts slowly unravel, I look forward to watching this evolution continue for at least four more years.
Every morning for two weeks I walked through the streets of Calcutta to Mother TeresaÃs Clinic for the Destitute and Dying. My tasks were simple: help the women to the bathroom, change the sheets or sit bedside and listen to life stories in Hindi. It was an intense environment, which was only exacerbated by the wailing of a 19-year old girl. The third degree burns she endured from her in-laws always brought tears to my eyes. She was not expected to survive. I witnessed unbearable suffering during those two weeks, yet from it grew a deep appreciation for my own fortunate circumstances and a strong compassion and determination to help ease the suffering of others.
It was during this time in Calcutta that I read my first book on Buddhism, a great relief after my days in the clinic. Two months later I attended a ten-day silent meditation retreat in Dharamsala. As I settled in the quiet, I noticed the Dharma naturally supported many of the beliefs I already held to be true.
Shortly after I returned to the United States, in June of 1998, I went to visit my brother and sister-in-law who were living at Pema â¦sel Ling, a Buddhist center in California. One afternoon during a break in puja my brother asked if I would like to meet his teacher. Timidly, I followed him through the rows of Sangha and awkwardly offered a kata to Lama Tharchin RinpochŽ. His smile was infectious and I immediately felt at ease.
In 2002 I moved to Pema â¦sel Ling to be closer to RinpochŽ, and have lived here ever since. Working at the retreat center or nearby allowed me the flexibility to be available to help RinpochŽ with his many activities.
I have frequently attended teachings, retreats and empowerments, and over the years have steadily felt my own practice deepen. However it was DungsŽ Thinley Norbu RinpochŽÃs visit in 2007, and my subsequent visit to his California center that truly shook my practice awake. Suddenly feeling a sense of urgency to not waste e my precious human life, I engaged in my daily practice with renewed devotion and diligence.
In the months that followed I began to r(re)evaluate my lifeÃs path. I had been planning to return to graduate school for a masterÃs degree in international public health, but with a new Drupdra retreat soon to begin under the guidance of Lama Tharchin RinpochŽ--a master whom I felt deeply connected--I found myself at a crossroad. I recognized that, while still caught in conditioned existence, my benefit to others would remain limited, whereas, right in front of me, circumstances had arisen for an inconceivably precious opportunity to train my mind to be of ultimate benefit to all beings. , Thus with strong intention, I approached RinpochŽ with the heartfelt wish to participate in the next Drupdra retreat.
Now only a few months into retreat, I cannot imagine feeling more joy, satisfaction and purpose being anywhere else than in Lama Tharchin RinpochŽ's Drupdra. I am so grateful to have the opportunity to practice under RinpochŽÃs instructions, and I am certain that the loving, trusting relationship that has developed over the years will now serve as my guide along the path. Although the difficult part is still up to me, I am determined to develop my capacity, so that I may recognize my own Buddha nature and thus be of benefit to all.
I have devoted my life to Buddhist study and practice. To do 3 year retreat under Lama Tharchin Rinpoche will make my entire life truly worthwhile. +
Thus far the only words Thinley Norbu Rinpoche has spoken to me in this life are, "You will do drubdra soon too, you will practice very nicely." Like a fool, it took me four years to believe him and as it turned out I didn't face up to the prophecy until a week before my retreat began.
At Pema Osel Ling's Losar Retreat (Nangchak Putri) 2009 I realized that my cool crowd, cool job, yoga-rock-star life in Brooklyn was really nothing more than a fun way to waste a precious human life. Amidst days of Puja, purbas galore, I finally understood that I could liberate all sentient beings from samsara. I began to see how Vajrayana Buddhism opens up the mind and what can be revealed in that space. I also felt my love and devotion for Lama Tharchin Rinpoche grow. I knew that if he would allow me into retreat, despite any obstacles, I would take the opportunity because nothing else mattered anymore. With 8 days until the retreat sealed I dismantled my beautiful urban life and moved into cabin two.
In New York I structured my time to make meditation practice and studies a priority. By being primarily self-employed with a generous income, I was able to attend workshops, see Lama Tharchin, and maintain a consistent personal sitting practice. Thankfully that lifestyle allowed me to smoothly transition into retreat.
New York will always be there, but this may be my only opportunity to gain the knowledge and experience of Lama Tharchin's 3 year retreat. I strive to master our practices, to be diligent and focused so that I not only experience the process Rinpoche teaches so beautifully, but also to attain the results he wishes for all of us. I want to achieve the aspirations I sing daily. My words are not hollow, my heart, my mind really want to empty samsara's depths. I am putting more effort into this retreat than I did at NYU or at any job. In lieu of a paycheck, now I work to relieve everyone I love, and ever have or will, love's suffering.
This retreat is at times exhausting and I think I have cried more in the past year than in the whole rest of my life. It feels as if for every ounce of compassion gained a pound of sadness comes with it. Nevertheless, I would rather be here learning to tame my mind for the benefit of all beings, with my sangha and Rinpoche, than anyplace else in the world.
Within all these miracles, the remaining issue is paying for the rest of my retreat. I want to remedy my financial situation so that I don't have dualistic monetary anxieties bouncing around in my thoughts. Although I used all my savings, sold my assets, and received donations, funding is still lacking. Of course I'm committed to continue seeking patronage when communication is allowed, but in the little Åfree timeà we have, I would much rather be studying Tibetan, assisting Rinpoche's dharma projects and deepening my practice.
When we began the Atiyoga section of my three year retreat my entire practice experience changed. I feel I
witnessed the ripening of my own mind. Suddenly all my practices became richer from daily ngondro to mantra to
Dzogchen itself. Itâs as if my whole mind stream became infused with Dzogchen and it affects everything I do or
perceive now. Thatâs not to say Iâve mastered anything, but I feel that something incredibly blissful and inspiring is
occurring. When I first experienced the change I developed the desire and intention to do more retreat. I felt at home
in my sessions, and though they are not effortless as Dudjom Lingpa says over and over that they should be, they are
some lovely adjective that I keep coming back for hour after hour.
Having completed three year retreat I am now aspiring to do a one year solitary retreat. Group retreat is an incredible
learning experience in every aspect. Now I seek to further enhance my experience in solitude. I welcome the
opportunity to cater my practices and schedule to my personal interests and capacity. It is also very exciting to receive
individual instruction from Lama Tharchin Rinpoche, especially in regards to teachings that he is very careful and
discerning about giving.
I feel a great connection to the Tsalung practices I have learned. After the Tsalung portion of retreat concluded I
continued on my own regularly with Rinpocheâs encouragement. Those incredible teachings, and the practices that
accompany them, have the same powerful and pervasive affect on me that Dzogchen does. I look forward to
receiving private instruction on these yogas and to further delve into the depths of the Dakini Tsalung practices that
are as wonderful as they are strange.
The loss of our sangha and lamasâ teacher Dungse Thinley Norbu Rinpoche was also an acute reminder of the
necessity of living in the present moment. Putting off practice or retreat seemed nothing short of ludicrous after losing
Dungse Rinpoche. It brought to the front of my mind an urgency not only to practice diligently with devotion, but also to
take advantage of every moment I have with my root teacher Lama Tharchin Rinpoche. I cherish the rare and
precious opportunity to have Tharchin Rinpoche, whom I feel more so every day is a true, complete embodiment of a
wisdom being, available to teach and guide me on another retreat.
With the combination of a wonderful retreat experience in the care of Tharchin Rinpoche and the strong, urgency
brought on by Dungse Rinpocheâs passing I wish now to do one year of solitary retreat. I hope that in this fortunate
lifetime, in which I am blessed enough to have found my teachers and to practice the dharma, that I will be of some
benefit to other beings.
I am 42 years old and my body is still strong. I can see old age, sickness, and death approaching. I think it is a great time to go to retreat while I am still relatively young and have the physical strength and stable mind needed to do practice.
I was born into the Buddhist Republic of Buryatia in Siberia and have been interested in Buddhism my whole life. I started to seriously practice when I moved to St Petersburg Russia and started working with a Tibetan doctor. He was my first Dharma teacher and great support to me. He sponsored my English language classes and taught me a lot about Dharma. Without his financial support it would have been very difficult to progress.
Everybody deserves financial support, especially those who look and ask for it. I have saved for this retreat but still need some help. Any help you can provide will be very much appreciated.
I aspire to increase my positive thinking and pure perception for the benefit of all mother sentient beings in order to establish them in perfect enlightenment. +
I aspire to do a three-year retreat for the potential opportunity to attain Buddhahood and as a practical space to cultivate realization. Furthermore, I feel that my early experiences, my background in psychology, and my involvement with dharma make me a good candidate for the scholarship.
For a lot of people, myself included, the aspiration of attaining Buddhahood seemed to be a spiritual fantasy. After having spent a year at Garchen Buddhist institute and having received the teachings, it seems like an attainable possibility with enough persistence and perseverance. His Eminence Garchen Rinpoche, in one of the dharma talks, expressed that while one can teach dharma based on the book knowledge, ultimate benefit for oneself and others arises through realization of the teachings in practice. Personally, I took it to mean that without direct experience and realization, the learning is incomplete. This goes in accord with the Buddha’s teachings of the importance of liberating self in order to be able to liberate others.
I had a direct experience of it in my personal experiences of meeting my mentor, with his limitless love and compassion. He helped me to make use of my early childhood neglect and a variety of other adverse circumstances. These experiences give me an appreciation for the importance of a spiritual life, as opposed a life lived out being dazed and confused, in jail or in a mental health institution per my understanding of psychological patterns. Having said that, the ongoing study of psychology, both as an educational and personal endeavor, makes it utterly clear to me the hoops that I need to jump through in order to heal myself and to be of maximum benefit to beings. In addition, my involvement with dharma helps me see the persistence and perseverance that other practitioners bring to practice. This continuously inspires me on my path and shapes and reshapes the ways in which I approach mine.
Overall, I feel that in my heart the decision has been made. It is painfully obvious and at the same time it is the only thing that makes sense - do a period of extended practice under the guidance of a sufficiently accomplished practitioner. In the present circumstance it manifested as an aspiration for a three-year retreat at GBI. In writing this essay advancing my candidacy, I can feel my arrogance and ego stirring. I hope all the people who are interested and can benefit from the three-year retreat have an opportunity to do so. Thank you for taking on the challenging task of considering our applications and I rejoice in our communal merit.
Thank you,
Pavel.
My primary motivation to enter the 3-Year Retreat at Pema Ösel Ling is a weariness with samsara and the suffering in this world, along with a wish to be able to benefit beings to ease or end their suffering, too. In retreat, I hope to be able to better develop bodhicitta and understanding of Dharma to benefit myself as well as all sentient beings.
I was born into a Tibetan Buddhist family in Orissa, India. My mother gave us many little teachings in our everyday lives, saying they were from H.H. Düdjom Rinpoche. When I was in school, we received many teachings and were told many stories from all traditions. Our school also invited many great Rinpoches from all Tibetan Buddhist schools to teach and inspire us. So, from an early age I developed devotion, faith and confidence in Buddha-dharma.
In January 2018, I received instruction and teachings on the Düdjom Tersar Ngöndro from my teacher, Tulku Orgyen Phuntsog Rinpoche, and began practicing ngöndro. Then, in the summer of 2018, I received empowerments in the Düdjom Tersar tradition from H.H. Düdjom Yangsi Rinpoche himself, at Pema Ösel Ling and in Santa Barbara, CA. That gave me a special connection with His Holiness, the Düdjom lineage, and Pema Ösel Ling.
My husband, Stephane Bertha, entered the 3-Year Retreat at Pema Ösel Ling in 2020. Before he started retreat, we attended Losar Vajrakilaya practice and preparation for his pre-retreat. After returning home, I felt strongly that I should do retreat also. I had not considered that before because of plans to further my nursing career, spending 3 years to get into a Registered Nursing program. The fact of impermanence hit me strongly. I saw that Dharma is the most important thing in my life. When we die, only Dharma can carry us, not the mundane things we’ve done in our lives.
Lama Sonam Tsering Rinpoche, director of Vajrayana Foundation and Pema Osel Ling, was very happy to hear of my request and gave his approval. My own Lama, Tulku Orgyen Phuntsog Rinpoche, gave his blessing and encouragement, saying that conditions and circumstances in my life were very favorable for me to do this retreat now. Having met the retreat master, I have complete confidence in his knowledge and ability.
I am nearly 50 years old and have seen much of the suffering and dissatisfaction people have in this world, wandering in samsara. I feel this is a good age for me to do retreat. I have developed and cultivated a weariness with samsara, an awareness of impermanence, death, and karma, as well as an awareness of my precious and auspicious life and circumstances. I am old enough to have this experience but still young enough where I can physically participate in dedicated, full-time retreat.
My intention is to develop my qualities as a Dharma practitioner and to have a deeper understanding of Buddha-dharma. My wish is to benefit beings and to assist my Lama in the future however I can.
In brief, I deeply believe that love and wisdom are the most precious things in this world, and that the best way I can increase their presence in myself and others is to participate in this three-year retreat. Seeing my teachers Kyabje Chokyi Nyima Rinpoche, Phakchok Rinpoche, and many other inspiring practitioners operate with uninterrupted, unbiased compassion has filled my heart with inspiration and reverence time and time again, and given me the confidence that stable realization of mind’s nature is truly possible. When I reflect on how my relationship with them has affected me, I see that even their seemingly small comments in passing have had major impacts on my mind’s habits from moment to moment. One or two sentences from them, or even just a glance in my direction, have planted seeds of kindness and dignity in my experience while gently exposing my neuroses, empowering me to work with them more honestly and directly than before.
Their meditation teachings have allowed me to slowly make friends with my mind, see others with more love and respect, let go, be more honest, and genuinely wish to benefit others. Even my relationship with my family has become more harmonious and genuine as a result of their teachings and blessing. No one has affected my life in a more pervasive and wholesome way than my kind teachers. I see this same beneficial activity occurring in everyone else who connects repeatedly with them and sincerely applies their instructions. The one thing that all of these teachers share is that they practice a tremendous amount, and most of them have spent years in retreat. So their profound qualities and ability to benefit others so deeply are a direct result of their sincere and diligent practice of Buddhadharma, and especially their realization of mind’s nature. It’s not just that they speak skillfully and eloquently. The very way they look at others, the way they sit, the way their eyes rest while they practice, are profound gateways to freedom and harmony for all those around them. Sometimes just being around them without saying anything has filled my heart with warmth. While I don’t expect to gain realization like these sublime beings during this short lifetime, I am confident that the best way to make progress on the path they’ve shown me is to participate in this three-year retreat.
Although I have no special qualities and do have many faults, the times I have felt my mind change the most positively have been in or after periods of retreat. Therefore, my sincere aspiration is that by doing this three-year retreat, I may reduce my selfish emotions, become less judgmental and neurotic, uncover the compassion and dignity inherent within myself, become familiar with the nature of mind, and gain the capacity to be of genuine service and benefit to others. I aspire that by doing this retreat, I may gain the capacity to uphold the authentic Buddhadharma by keeping its qualities and teachings as direct experience in my own heart, not just as words in my head. Most of all, I pray that by participating in this retreat, all the aspirations of the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, especially my beloved teachers, will be completely fulfilled, that all sentient beings everywhere may become totally free from suffering and all of its causes, and that we may all realize the great bliss of reality’s true nature. I promise that during this retreat, I will live harmoniously and lovingly with fellow retreatants, cultivate a sincere motivation of renunciation and bodhicitta, and do all of the practices to the best of my ability.
I would first like to explain about my aspirations and reasons for wanting to do this retreat
through speaking about the development of my motivation over the years. Since I have started
already my retreat in the year 2003, my aspirations are in a process of refinement according to
my experiences of practice.
At a certain point of my life several years ago, I got a glimpse of seeing everything as an
illusion. By reflecting on it and contemplating sincerely on the Four Fundamental Thoughts, I
came to the conclusion that I would have to fearlessly take the responsibility in this life to
connect with the absolute truth. This experience was caused by facing cancer and overcoming
it through my own efforts at the age of 24 and still until the present day it helps me as a vivid
reminder for motivation in times of doubts and struggle on the path. So, out of this confidence
that everything is possible by the power of mind I had the wish also to show others how to
help themselves and at the same time I saw that there is still pretty much to understand about
my own mind. As soon as I came in contact with Tibetan Buddhism and the examples of
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practitioners who dedicate their lives to practice in retreat, I had the strong wish to follow in
their footsteps and prepared myself for it.
Now practicing since some years in retreat, I am still joyful and convinced that this is the best
way for me to spend my life. As more as I study and meditate the more I see that there is
much more to learn and purify in order to bring forth genuine transformation and benefit.
I am very grateful to my teachers who give me transmissions and guidance for my retreat
practice. They always happily encourage me to continue and grant me their blessing and their
prayers for good conditions. To repay their kindness, I feel also committed to do retreat. I
think the lamas are not only rejoicing that there are people who strive for liberation, but also
that the transmissions they bestow on us are kept alive makes them very happy. Many
practices can only be undertaken authentically in strict retreat. For me it is not satisfying just
to learn the different methods, I also wish to deepen them.
We have still great realized masters who are willing to transmit the unspoiled Buddhadharma
to us, but one never knows how long these conditions will last. Furthermore it is getting in
general more difficult to find the right conditions to do long retreats. Because of this I feel
also committed to continue my retreat as long as the circumstances allow it.
In this degenerate age in which our world is penetrated more and more with confusion and
disturbing emotions, it becomes really obvious for me how important it is to do something
meaningful. I feel committed to contribute at least a drop of positive energy for a more
healthy world through dedicating my life to prayer and meditation.
Lors de la fin de ma retraite de 3 ans en décembre 1987, je rencontrais Kyabjé KALOU
RINPOTCHÃ pour un entretien personnel en présence de Lama Tenpa Gyamtso et lui exprimais
mon souhait de faire à nouveau une retraite de 3 ans solitaire consacrée à un yoga
particulier.Rinpoché se montra très satisfait de mon projet et mʼencouragea dans ce sens en me
disant : « cʼest bien de faire une telle retraite mais tu dois dʼabord parfaitement connaître 4 textes
fondamentaux (Dakpo Targyen, Bodhicharyavatara, Kyébusum Lamrim et Ngédeun
Dreunmé).Ensuite si tu peux te mettre en retraite le reste de ta vie, cʼest le mieux que tu puisses
faire ».
Par la suite, jʼai essayé de suivre ces conseils dans la mesure ou cela était matériellement possible
en en faisant la requête à des bienfaiteurs comme lors de ma retraite dʼun an à Vajradhara Ling ou
en me finançant moi-même par des travaux saisonniers.Ceci mʼa permis de perfectionner lʼétude
des Textes Fondamentaux conseillés par et dʼapprofondir les pratiques du Vajrayana avec
lesquelles jʼai le plus dʼaffinité. Cʼest la raison pour laquelle jʼai persévéré ces dernières années
dans lʼaccomplissement de retraites de longue durée, ceci afin de donner un sens à cette existence
humaine et avec lʼespoir que cela puisse aider de nombreux êtres et inspirer les peronnes qui me
sont proches et finalement afin dʼaccomplir les souhaits de Kyabjé Kalou Rinpotché. +
This long-term retreat represents a real culmination in my spiritual journey. It's been almost 30 years since I started on the Dharma path. After living in a Dharma center for over 15 years, completing the three-year retreat and other solitary retreats, I felt about 8 years ago the calling in my heart to let go of the things of this life and devote completely to the Dharma. In terms of spiritual practice, I had received during my retreat and later on all the trekchö and tögal instructions, and since then I have always felt drawn to these practices. I was fortunate in 2018 to meet a true guide of those, Robert Olds, who completed the 4 visions of the Tögal during a 10 years retreat in the wilderness. I was able to receive from him the full and precise Tögal instructions and get his confirmation that I was ready to begin. In 2020-2021, I got ill for over a year, which led me to go on a solitary retreat for 6 months. At the end of this retreat, I was truly aware that life is impermanent and the moment of death uncertain. I said to myself, if you don't do what's important to you now, when will you? Mid-2021, when I started to feel better, I actively began to prepare my life for this long term retreat : nourishing the intention in my heart, searching for a place to set up my hermitage, finding a way to at least partially meet my material needs for the retreat, prepare my relatives to the separation, close my professional activity, say goodbye to friends etc... The whole process accelerated in 2024 , as if the winds of life were encouraging me in this direction : the land was found and bought (by my brother) in a perfect area, my guide moved there in April, as well as some other Dharma friends, that could support me with my practice and the daily life during the retreat.
This retreat does involve a total commitment in my life : leaving my country, my family, my friends, my situation, to remain and practice in the solitude of the forest in a small and simple hermitage I'm building with my own hands. I know that Tsadra only grants scholarships for a maximum of 3 years, but I am feeding the intention to stay in retreat at least for seven years or more, depending on the development of the practice.
I do hope this present letter will be able to convey at least a little bit of the sincerity of my engagement. I would also like to express my deep gratitude to the Tsadra Foundation for helping the Dharma of the Tibetan tradition to grow and flourish in these dark times, not only through translations but also through dedicated practionners who try to walk in the footsteps of our great ancestors.
R
Dear Sir(s),
My name is Joshua Schauls and I am applying for scholarship in order to enter into a three-year meditative retreat. Engagement in three-year retreat will allow for the development of stability in meditative practice and for the application of skills and knowledge learned while completing studies at the Center for Buddhist Studies at Rangjung Yeshe Institute.
At the Rangjung Yeshe Institute I received traditional Tibetan instruction on various foundational Mahayana texts such as the Madhyantavibagha, Bodhicaryavatara, and the Gateway to Knowledge, from Khenpo Sherab Dorje and Khenpo Jampa Donden. Course work at the Shedra also included classical and colloquial Tibetan language; several classes were conducted without English translation on the Kunzang LamaiÅ Shelung and the Dagpo Targyen from Lopons at the Gonpa. I am looking forward to applying the classical and colloquial Tibetan language skills that I have acquired by getting retreat instructions in Tibetan and studying Tibetan commentaries to the practices involved.
I would like to contribute to the spread of Buddhism in the West by sharing the knowledge that I have gained studying Buddhist philosophy and meditation; by engaging in this retreat I hope to become a fit vessel to do so. In particular, I would like to help spread the teachings of Chod and the Pacification of Suffering. I feel a very strong connection to these practices and have been blessed with many great teachers who hold authentic lineages of the practice such as Lama Wangdu Rinpoche and Lama Padma Dorje. It has been advised by many of my teachers to make Chod practice my lifeÅs work. I have undertaken several shorter retreats on various Chod practices and last summer was able to complete the traditional 108 charnel ground retreat in Ladakh.
In addition, a future goal is to work toward the translation of classical Tibetan texts into the English language, but I feel it is crucial to not only have an academic understanding of the texts but to also have some direct experience of the meditative process. Without the experience of mediation one can only gain in retreat, subtle misunderstanding can arise in the translation of texts. Only an estimated ten percent of classical Tibetan Buddhist texts have been translated. I would like to help make this wealth of philosophical tradition available to the West. The production of good translations that stand up to western scholastic criticism while at the same time clearly presenting the text from the perspective of the tradition is of great importance.
By engaging in a three-year retreat on the practice of Troma Ngagmo I will gain proficiency and insight in meditative practice and with these skills I hope to teach Dharma in the West and contribute to my Dharma center that has given so much to me.
Sincerely,
Joshua Schauls
To the Tsadra Committee:
My name is Joshua Schauls and I am applying for this scholarship in order to fund a one-year period of a contemplative retreat. I entered into a three-year contemplative retreat in the winter of 2012, and IÃm nearing the end of that period. When I entered into my current three-year retreat I did so with a deep heart felt aspiration to put to use the knowledge that I received from my traditional studies and to gain experience with meditational practices in order to realize the deeper meaning behind the words so that I might be able to contribute to the understanding and spread of Buddhist philosophy and practice in the West. So far I have been incredibly fortunate, and from this retreat a profound deeper understanding of Vajrayana practice has unfolded. I have had some very positive indications that there would be benefit in staying in retreat for a longer period of time in order to engage in some of my practices in a more comprehensive way, and my teachers have encourage me to do so. In order to continue my practices through to their conclusion I would need to stay in retreat for an addition eighteen months, and I am applying for this scholarship in order to fund a one-year period of this time. I would like to contribute to the spread of Buddhism in the West by sharing the knowledge that I have gained studying and practicing Buddhist philosophy and meditation, and by engaging in this retreat I hope to become a fit vessel to do so. In particular, I would like to help spread the teachings of Chod and the Pacification of Suffering. I feel a very strong connection to these practices and have been blessed with many great teachers who hold authentic lineages of the practice such as Lama Wangdu Rinpoche and Lama Pema Dorje Rinpoche.
In addition, a future goal is to work toward the translation of classical Tibetan texts into the English language, but I feel it is crucial to not only have an academic understanding of the texts but to also have direct experience of the meditative process. Without the experience of mediation one can only gain in retreat, subtle misunderstanding can arise in the translation of texts. There is an immense amount of Tibetan literature, but in comparison very few classical Tibetan Buddhist texts have been translated. I would like to help make this wealth of meditative and philosophical tradition available to the West. The production of good translations that stand up to western scholastic criticism while at the same time clearly presenting the text from the perspective of the tradition is of great importance.
By continuing on in retreat I will gain proficiency and insight into meditative practice and with stability in these skills I hope to teach Dharma in the West and contribute to my Dharma center that has given so much to me.
Sincerely,
Joshua Schauls
Since I encountered the teachings of Buddhism and the living tradition of Tibetan Buddhist masters I did whatever I could to meet teachers, study and practice, following the gradual path as presented by my teachers, mainly Sogyal Rinpoche and Chökyi Nyima Rinpoche and to engage in the Dharma community.
Meanwhile I also continued to train and work as a Psychotherapist in the hope to benefit people, which sometimes left me slightly dissillusioned. For even though I could often help patients to find ways of coping with life's struggles in a somewhat less distorted fashion, it also became very clear that, more fundamentally, there is no "fix" for the problems of samsara, what many people are actually hoping for. Our only true help is the sacred Dharma in order to become free from the trappings of karma and kleshas that keep us spinning around, based on mistaken believes and strong dualistic fixation.
Both, my work and spiritual study +
Although I have a rich Dharma background spanning over some over 30 years I have certainly not achieved the profound insight, or realisation, or awakening that marks liberation, the basis to effectively be of benefit for the countless suffering forms that can be perceived and who to liberate I vowed many years ago.
Although I do what I can to maintain a healthy degree of alertness, the habitual tendencies whirl me around and against better intention I fall prey to lesser drives than what would be conducive to awakening. In past retreats I have had a glimpse of what a prolonged practice can yield and I am hungry and keen on going all he way.
In such a 3 years retreat I would anticipate to face no more or less challenges than when living a normal live outside, but the transformative opportunity would be massively different under the expert tutelage of the kind Drupon who would help me in transforming every moment to gain direct insight into my true nature. I know not whether or not ultimate liberation is possible for me in this life, but feeling healthy and clear in my mind I would like to think that the 3 years retreat would form a formidable platform to take a very great step towards dropping the superfluous dredges of ego-hood ad enter or approach a state I see perfectly embodied in my precious inspirations, ,my original root Lama Gege Khyentse Gyatso and Garchen Rinpoche. +
Practices within the Vajrayana tradition are, by far, the greatest inspirations in my life, and I regard them as the most valuable and transformative in nature. They have also allowed me to experience a sense of what I feel is perhaps most closely akin - to awakening in it’s true sense".
It can be said with conviction that my inspiration to complete the Three-Year Retreat has, for many years, been based on my motivation toward a greater understanding of the relationship between self, other, and the essence of mind, and wakening bodhicitta.
Practice has moved me to better understand the nature of elements present in experience that we forget are not necessarily bound by the trappings of concept, emotion, and the mental elaborations we loosely place upon them. I long to increase this focus in a meaningful way, one which is, as much as possible, free of my own confusion and attachments.
I sense the vast quality of mind and its endless expansions and contractions and see myself stumbling along with the occasional experience of overwhelm within that process. I also observe others doing the same. This has provided for my heart a longing to understand myself and all “existent” beings.
Pursuing the knowledge and practices which develop freedom from self-concern in its truest essence, is most vital. I increasingly grow to understand the aspiration to benefit others as most important, and perhaps most needed in our present time, for our own, and for our environment's survival where fear, anxiety, and the extremes of complacency and reactivity appear to be on the increase.
I wish to enter the 3-year retreat for the above reasons and because, for some time, I have experienced a notable turning away from samsaric experiences and attachments. Within my field of inner (and external) vision I see karmas that are perpetually cycling and moving profoundly within us every day. If anything, it has become clear over time, as an individual how karma binds us within our lives and in relationships. It seems to hold us, for lack of a better expression, to delusiveness. For me, this quality has become more palpable in a way that has increased since prior times. It is very difficult now for me politely escape the sense that we are all, to some extent, sleepwalking, as we are driven by past experiences and entrenched perceptions.
It is not due to a need to escape, or to remove myself from the world entirely that I wish to enter the 3 -year retreat, but rather to seek refuge in the truest sense. I feel this moment is with hope, and that it is necessary to further explore what is needed to truly benefit beings through practice, and a more profound understanding of Dharma. These are my reasons for requesting your consideration. Thank you Sincerely for your great effort.
Practices within the Vajrayana tradition are, by far, the greatest inspirations in my life, and I regard them as the most valuable and transformative in nature. They have also allowed me to experience a sense of what I feel is perhaps most closely akin - to awakening in it’s true sense".
It can be said with conviction that my inspiration to complete the Three-Year Retreat has, for many years, been based on my motivation toward a greater understanding of the relationship between self, other, and the essence of mind, and wakening bodhicitta.
Practice has moved me to better understand the nature of elements present in experience that we forget are not necessarily bound by the trappings of concept, emotion, and the mental elaborations we loosely place upon them. I long to increase this focus in a meaningful way, one which is, as much as possible, free of my own confusion and attachments.
I sense the vast quality of mind and its endless expansions and contractions and see myself stumbling along with the occasional experience of overwhelm within that process. I also observe others doing the same. This has provided for my heart a longing to understand myself and all “existent” beings.
Pursuing the knowledge and practices which develop freedom from self- concern in its truest essence, is most vital. I increasingly grow to understand the aspiration to benefit others is most important, and perhaps most needed in our present time, for our own, and for our environment's survival where; fear, anxiety, and the extremes of complacency and reactivity appear to be on the increase.
I wish to enter the 3-year retreat for the above reasons and because, for some time, I have experienced a notable turning away from samsaric experiences and attachments. Within my field of inner (and external) vision I see karmas that are perpetually cycling and moving profoundly within us every day. If anything, it has become clear over time, as an individual how karma binds us within our lives and in relationships. It seems to hold us, for lack of a better expression, to delusiveness. For me, this quality has become more palpable in a way that has increased since prior times. It is very difficult now for me politely escape the sense that we are all, to some extent, sleepwalking, as we are driven by past experiences and entrenched perceptions.
It is not due to a need to escape, or to remove myself from the world entirely that I wish to enter the 3 -year retreat, but rather to seek refuge in the truest sense. I feel this moment is with hope, and that it is necessary to further explore what is needed to truly benefit beings through practice, and a more profound understanding of Dharma. These are my reasons for requesting your consideration and I thank you with warmth and sincerity, for your great efforts and the opportunity presented.
