Property:Letterofmotivation
From Tsadra Foundation Advanced Contemplative Scholarships
This is a property of type Text.
N
Dear Lama Drupgyu,
As I begin to write this, and you ask why you should consider my application. I can think of many reasons why you shouldn't. There are so many deserving new practitioners around the world more deserving of your help. I am someone who although I possess sincere faith, intention and try my best to give rise to bodhichitta, I am full of flaws and short-comings that I directly acknowledge and confess them all, every last one. I have had so many "uprisings" lhong tshad in my life which I did not liberate, so many great challenges in my life of Dharma that truly shook me to the core. Though, I have not abandoned the Dharma, I continue to the best of my ability to address my flaws and short-comings and to develop the principles of a practitioner.
I now see how rare and precious this life is. And after having met so many sublime beings and drank their priceless nectar, if I were to die without accomplishing the Dharma, what a waste of a precious human birth. For the sake of the Dharma and all beings as limitless as space itself, I must continue to persevere to complete enlightenment and repay the immeasurable kindness of all of my kind gurus. It is easy to write these words, but I sincerely mean every word.
As Tulku Pema Wangyal once told me, the mind of a bodhisattva should be to not simply aspire to do retreat until you die, but to make the firm vow to remain in retreat for as many lifetimes as it takes to become a buddha. Then true and lasting benefit for all beings of the 6 realms will arise ceaselessly.
While one can still attempt to practice in the world, genuine progress on a meaningful level is only possible in solitude, abandoning all distracting activities. In these modern times, retreat is more important than ever. Since COVID restrictions in 2020, I have seen mental illness a skyrocket around the world as a result of forced isolation, paranoia, and social media. Now, more than ever, the world needs people training in retreat so that they may help others in the future.
For the last 25 years, I have aspired to one day do a much more intensive retreat for 13 years. One reason is that in looking at the lives of the great masters, it was prolonged years of retreat was what brought about stable realization. The other is that my teachers said it would be beneficial, Getse Rinpoche told me to spend decades in retreat, until realization. During these last years, I have been preparing and gathering the necessary experience, guidance, and transmissions.
In the depths of my heart, I know beyond any doubt that entering this retreat will bare genuine fruit.
Now, on this 25th day of the Dakinis, I pray to my teachers, to the buddhas in the ten directions, to the hosts of yidams and dakinis, please hear me and grant your blessings that all of the conditions to enter retreat, and to carry it to an auspicious conclusion after 13 years may spontaneously manifest. May the two-fold Bodhichitta continue to blossom to fullness in my heart and mind. May all beings benefit, sarva Mangalam!
As long as I can stay in retreat, I hope that my mind becomes more pliable, my heart softer and more open. The personal benefit of Individual retreat practice seems to be that one becomes adept at holding space for oneself (and the different parts of one's 'self'). Once that experience of space is stabilized and expanded, then one can benefit others by holding space for them. This is the ultimate aim of retreat, as I see it: the more aligned I am with my spacious nature, a commensurate lack of contraction and defensiveness follow, so that all my interpersonal relating becomes more responsive to the needs of others.
More concretely, this retreat is a long digestive moment to integrate all I have learned, all the transmissions I received in Nepal and India over the last decade. I'm making a running attempt at composting the "Dharma of Scriptures" I have absorbed into a drop of the "Dharma of Realization," lest my translations ossify into husks of words with no underlying heart. It has always been my intent to bring back what I learned in traditional settings as a Tibetan-English 'translator' in the larger sense of the word. This is why I am deconstructing my identity structure in a cabin in California, not in a cave in the Himalaya.
I hope to expand my lived experience in four areas: genuine compassion based on understanding how and why we suffer; devotion to my teachers and the Buddhist path in general; appreciation for impermanence; and the unfolding of awareness. All 84,000 doors of Dharma are equally potent tools for these goals, but the golden chain of the Nyingthik instructions tradition seems to have fallen as my fortune, and due to karmic connections with Lama Drimed Norbu, secluded intensive practice seems to be the path presently before me.
In my time on this path, roughly half of my life, I have endured some trials for the sake of the Dharma. In the context of my love affair with the Chetsün Nyingthik, while accumulating the preliminary practices, I moved to a new country, gained strong facility in two languages (Tibetan and Sanskrit), basic situational facility in two others (Hindi and Nepali), and completed an M.A. program. Life in Nepal is not easy in the best of times, yet I continued without break in my course of study despite a catastrophic earthquake (with its national and personal aftershocks) and subsequent energy crisis. In entering this retreat, I have abruptly paused my beginning academic career: I began 102 days after my teacher suggested I begin this long retreat after I moved back from Nepal, without secure funding for the duration. This explains the awkward task of seeking funding for a retreat that has already begun. I hope that my vision and my resilience in the face of challenging circumstances will indicate my commitment to this path, and my uniquely supportive present situation will show that it is possible. Thank you for your consideration.
By consistently contemplating the third thought that turns the mind to the dharma, and using it as a support to analyze my life experience, I see that for results to emerge, a lot of causes and conditions have to come together. And each one of us, is responsible for sowing the seeds of those causes and conditions for that outcome to manifest.
I see that to be able to attain their desired outcome, people encounter a lot of shortcomings and bear a lot of suffering, and they are happy to do so, because those sacrifices make them get closer to the goal they are pursuing, believing firmly that this goal will make them happy and complete, whether that goal is having a loving wife and family, a great paying job, or excelling in a specific area of expertise.
Personally, I don't see as worthwhile the amount of dedication, sacrifice and effort people put towards attaining an external samsaric goal, as I myself have tried in the past, only to taste the bitter hollowness of the result.
On the other hand, I see that doing a three-year retreat is far more worthwhile, despite also requiring a lot of effort. In this case however I have the motivation to dedicate myself and my energy to walk the noble path that will get me closer to attaining genuine peace and liberation.
Moreover, I see that if I don’t train to look at my mind, it does not matter where I would be living, what job I would be doing, what type of life I would be having, I will carry with me all of my obscurations and shortcomings. Not only will I thus create suffering for myself, but will also do so for others.
I don´t want to hurt anyone else because of my own shortcomings. I wish to take full responsibility for my mind and my actions, but because of my ignorance, this is not something that I can currently do on my own. I need proper guidance from a qualified master who can point out to me all the traps set up by my own ego.
I have contemplated on the preciousness of this human life that I have acquired. Causes and conditions have come together for me in such a way that I have been able to get in touch with the Dharma and to be interested enough to practice it. It’s my intention to take full advantage of this opportunity and make my life truly meaningful.
I’m very grateful for the love I have received in the form of teachings from my Gurus and teachers. When I contemplate upon this, I’m filled with devotion towards the unconditional love that my Gurus and their Gurus till the beginning of the lineage have given, and still continue to give, to sentient beings like me.
I understand these precious teachings are imparted from them to us with the intention of improving ourselves for the sole purpose of being able to benefit mother sentient beings. I’m committed to honor their intention, to not sully this precious lineage and to get better for the purpose of trying to contribute to their sacred work of helping mother sentient beings.
Tashi delek cher(e)s membres de la Fondation Tsadra ! Mon nom est Nicolas Novel, Lodrö Lungtok Tendzin, et je souhaiterais postuler à l’obtention d’une bourse de financement pour la prochaine retraite traditionnelle de 3 ans à Shangpa Karma Ling.
Après m’être exténué à chercher la satisfaction personnelle dans la quête des plaisirs des sens, et je peux dire que j’ai été plus que doué dans ce domaine, il a fallu qu’on me tape un bon coup sur la tête pour engendrer un retournement des plus radicaux. Le choc fut douloureux mais nécessaire, et je peux remercier maintenant ceux qui ont participé à cette prise de conscience et qui m’ont évité de gâcher cette précieuse vie humaine.
Aujourd’hui âgé de 35 ans, je ressens une très grande confiance en la pratique, les trois joyaux, les trois sources et fondamentalement en ce silence et en cette ouverture qui me permettent d’accueillir et de laisser partir ce à quoi je me suis tellement identifié et qui me fait autant souffrir. Je remercie infiniment Denys Rinpoche de m’avoir fait découvrir cette dimension et de m’aider à affiner la compréhension de ce que je suis réellement, au-delà de la peur, du doute et de toute incertitude.
L’obtention du doctorat en samasara que j’ai obtenu avec mention lors de mes trente premières années m’aura au moins permis une bonne compréhension du fonctionnement de la souffrance, et ceci dans les six niveaux d’existence. Étant passé du monde des dieux aux enfers plus d’une fois, tourner en rond m’a donné une sévère nausée et je ne souhaite plus refaire un tour de manège. Voilà pourquoi toute mon énergie et ma motivation ces dernières années ont été consacrées à l’étude et à la pratique du Dharma, avec en ligne de mire cette retraite de trois ans qui me procurera les conditions idéales pour bien progresser sur la voie et me rendre bénéfique au plus grand nombre.
La relation à cœur ouvert développée avec Rinpoche, l’inspiration des maîtres de la lignée, le soutien de mes amis dans le dharma, l’expérience de plusieurs retraites personnelles et de plusieurs années d’étude à l’institut, seront un soutien et une aide inestimable pour bien vivre cette expérience. Je suis cependant bien conscient que même avec ces prérequis, je vais être confronté à beaucoup de moments difficiles, d’émotions perturbatrices, de doutes, de peurs… mais je pense avoir acquis la maturité pour y faire face, m’abandonner dans la pratique et regarder ce qui émerge, ceci au mieux de mes capacités.
Je remercie grandement la fondation Tsadra de pouvoir aider celles et ceux qui ont besoin de soutien dans cette grande aventure d’éveil. Je me sentirais fortement privilégié de pouvoir participer au programme, cela renforcerait encore un peu plus mon engagement et ma motivation à rendre cette période de temps dédié à la pratique la plus efficace possible. Je rends hommage aux maîtres de toutes les lignées, qui par leur sagesse et leurs activités de grande bonté guident tous les vivants vers la libération
O
My genuine aspirations are to break free from samsaric cyclic existence; to realize and embody the relative and the absolute Bodhichitta; through the inner practice to acquire a suitable vessel, skills and means to help being of all levels to make strong connection with Buddha-Dharma and progress on the path.
I had chosen to do 3-year retreat at Karme Ling, because Ven. Khenpo Karthar Rinpoche is my Root Guru and I belong to the Kagyu Lineage sincerely. I also have strong connection and heartfelt relationships with the community and the Lamas. It, also, has been clear to me that I have no interest in leading mundane life or even running a personal household. Doing the traditional 3-year retreat and move forward on the Bodhisattva path is my priority. Back in 2009 Buddhist's 3-year retreat was mentioned by a fellow student of my Yoga teacher. Upon hearing about it my entire being responded with recognition and aspiration to enter and complete a three-year retreat "one day". I am grateful and happy beyond measure for this opportunity to finally ripen. I pray that it will be fulfilled. I am willing to exert myself with joy for this purpose. I am confident in my ability to follow through and be a dedicated and diligent student/practitioner. Sarwa Mangalam! +
To the respected retreat committee,
I am writing to express my sincere aspiration to participate in the upcoming three-year retreat. Although I first encountered Buddhism as a teenager, it was only about six years ago that this interest began to take root in a more stable and transformative way. Since then, my faith in the Dharma has steadily grown into a deeply anchored commitment.
In 2019, I had the great fortune of receiving teachings from Chökyi Nyima Rinpoche. One moment in particular left a lasting imprint on my heart. Rinpoche emphasized that truly understanding the Dharma requires learning Tibetan. I felt his words were spoken directly to me. Trusting him completely, I directed all my energy toward this goal. Since then, I have devoted myself to learning Tibetan language and classical Buddhist texts. My studies began with Śāntideva’s Bodhicaryāvatāra and gradually expanded to include works on Madhyamaka, Prajñāpāramitā, and the tantric path of indestructible wakefulness. What I discovered was not just the depth of Tibetan literature, but the profound clarity and beauty of the Dharma itself. Where I had once carried lingering doubts, study and reflection brought a quiet but unwavering confidence: the Dharma truly leaves no question unanswered.
More recently, I’ve begun to serve as a translator, sharing teachings, translating texts, and assisting teachers when possible. This has been deeply fulfilling. At the same time, it has revealed the limits of my own experience. No matter how sincere my intentions or how hard I study, I have come to realize that without a strong foundation in meditative practice and personal realization, it is difficult to convey the heart-meaning of the teachings. Textual understanding, while indispensable, cannot substitute for embodied insight.
It is this recognition that brings me to apply for the three-year retreat. My motivation is simple: I wish to deepen my understanding through direct experience, to soften the grip of afflictions, and to cultivate genuine bodhicitta and wisdom. I have no romantic notions about the retreat—it will be difficult—but I trust that it will be the most meaningful thing I can do with my life at this time. I don’t view this retreat as an endpoint, but as a step on a lifelong path of service and commitment to the Dharma.
In the long run, I hope to serve the sangha and all sentient beings through a combination of practice, study, and translation. Whether by helping make texts available in English, supporting teachers, or simply offering a grounded presence in a sangha, I want my life to be shaped by the Dharma and to offer whatever I can back to the world. I am ready to commit wholeheartedly to this path.
With gratitude and respect,
Olof Axelsson
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I've been preparing for the 3 year retreat for a few years now.
In this life I had the blessing and wonderful opportunity to find the Holy Dharma and a perfect teacher with Chokyi Nyima Rinpoche.
Not only did I find the sacred Dharma and my perfect teacher, but I had the honor and blessing of receiving teachings from this teacher.
Not only was I blessed to have received the teachings, but I was able to contemplate and apply them to my everyday life.
My motivation is really to achieve enlightenment so that I can eternally help beings get rid of suffering and the causes of suffering until everyone achieves full enlightenment.
Now I am 57 years old (58 in July), Rinpoche is alive to offer us the necessary empowerments and teachings.
As everything is impermanent and as I am no longer young I believe this is the perfect time for the 3 year retreat. +
I have desired to complete a three year retreat upon first hearing of the existence of three year retreats, from my Poetry professor in 2007. When anyone asks me how I first became a Buddhist practitioner, my answer often begins with, "I had this great teacher..." and it is my professor I am speaking of. The generosity of his bestowal--subtleties and sensitives to attentions of my heart and mind, is a great gift I have received in this lifetime, initiating my aspiration to pursue a three year retreat. I believe my fortunate experience with a positive mentor, a person who transformed my mind through consistent, intimate engagement, enabled me to immediately understand, attest to the preciousness of, and feel strongly at home in the guru devotion central to Vajrayana Buddhism.
I have a deep respect for teachers, and the students who honor and respect, so carry on their value. For the first few years in which I came into contact with Buddhist practice, I was overcome by the vast, manifold presence of teachers and traditions. When I moved to the Bay area in 2010 and began attending retreats and teachings at Pema Osel Ling, as well as educating myself about the Dudjom Tersar lineage, I consistently felt like "this was my tradition" and each time I attended a retreat I wanted to stay longer. Each time I read a text by Dudjom Rinpoche or Thinley Norbu Rinpoche I wanted to devote the rest of my life to studying them. I have been longing for a deeper concentration of context in which I can organize my life around what I know to be the most precious insights I aspire to fully embody. The opportunity has now arrived and I am kindling the auspiciousness of it.
I think my application should be considered because I have a genuine desire to understand my mind at its root and fulfill my potential. I feel continuously in awe of and humbled by the abundant intricacy, exhilaratingly vast and dynamic, aesthetic and ethical teachings and practices, textual traditions, past, present, and future teachers who comprise the Dudjom lineage in which I am pursuing my retreat. I desire to situate, offer, and integrate my devotion to and experience of poetic, and performative practices with understanding and internalizing the elegance and precision of this lineage. I want to deepen my study of Tibetan and Sanskrit and develop a complete, well rounded knowledge of sadhana, meditation and ritual. My desire for detail and my aspirations towards architecting the most vividly possible imaginations around the kindest wishes for all living beings installs me within this tradition naturally and happily.
I am writing from the end of my preretreat period, and I feel astoundingly lucky to find myself within a tradition which so adamantly, keenly, and humbly honors the hunger for realization, the capacities of the human mind, and the luminosity inside the heart of every being.
I want to participate in this next three-year retreat because I truly believe it is the most beneficial and important use of my
time, especially at this point in my life.
When my heart teacher Lama Tharchin Rinpoche entered into Parinirvana, he had already planted the seed that I should do
retreat. His passing is one of the hardest challenges I have faced in my practice, but is also the most important teaching he ever
gave me.
In the two years since, I have changed my life in order to focus on my Lama, my practice, and the path. I have already made
Dharma the focus of my life, and altered my life to better serve in any way I can. Lama Sonam Rinpoche took me under his
guidance, and has nurtured me as a practitioner and as a person. Lama Sonam Rinpocheâs skill and compassion evolved my
feelings into an overwhelming faith and devotion to Guru Rinpoche, our lyniage teachers, Lama Tharchin, to him, and to dharma.
Out of the kindness of my two root lamas, I have already been given many blessed opportunities to receive teachings,
empowerments, and precious time from many sublime beings. While I am still so young, and my worldly life is easily set aside, I
want nothing more than to take these experiences and allow them to flow into a retreat that would enable me to focus on the task of
taming my mind and furthering my knowledge. Deepening my practice now, and establishing the blessings and teachings of Lama
Pema Dorje Rinpoche at this point in my life, would allow me to build my future on an even stronger platform of faith, devotion, and
understanding of dharma.
The path my life would otherwise be on at the moment is a very western-world one. I have already made the decision that I
want to put my college education on hold because deepening my knowledge of my own mind, my own nature, and of precious
Dharma would benefit me more than any thing I could learn anywhere else in the world. I believe participating in this retreat will do
that.
Lama Tharchin Rinpoche invested a lot of time and energy in ensuring that I understood what an opportunity retreat was,
and that I took it. Lama Sonam Rinpoche has made it clear that investing my time into learning as much as I can from our lineage
masters while they are still here, and my mind is young, is the most valuable thing I can do and I know this is true. The instruction
and blessings from my two heart teachers to enter this commitment make me sure it is the right path for me to take.
I am very excited at the prospect of engaging in further long-term retreat, and I am deeply grateful to my lamas and Tsadra Foundation for this opportunity. The three-year retreat and the Tsadra-sponsored extension I recently completed was a deeply meaningful, intense, and rewarding experience. I approached retreat with the aspiration to truly be of service to the doctrine and sentient beings, and with the lamas' blessings, and great confidence and faith in Buddhism in general, and in the Dujom lineage in particular, I feel this is definitely possible. Lama Tharchin Rinpoche has encouraged me both to become a lineage-holder in the Dujom tradition and to believe in my own potential to realize enlightenment in this life-time, and to this I aspire.
I am so incredibly inspired by my lamas, our lineage, my retreat companions, and the greater sangha, and thus motivated, I resolved to join the current three-year retreat that began in March of this year. I have long wished to receive the Dujom Troma cycle, a Chod tradition, and plan to take part in the retreat in order to receive the full cycle under Lama Tharchin's guidance. This is the first and possibly only time it has ever offered, and I recognize this precious opportunity. In the nearly four years of retreat that I recently finished, I enjoyed learning whole-heartedly everything that Lama Tharchin Rinpoche set out for us. I became deeply immersed in various meditation and ritual traditions and I continue to maintain practices learned during retreat, both the daily practice commitments I've made with my lamas and the meditations that sustain and inspire me everyday.
Learning the ritual arts and traditional dances during retreat was a wonderful experience; I view learning the Troma cycle as an opportunity to deepen my meditation practice and to fulfill my lama's wishes of preserving an entire cycle with students trained in all aspects of meditation and ritual. I also look forward to deepening my comprehension of written and spoken Tibetan, both for the requirements of the retreat and beyond, to understanding oral teachings entirely in Tibetan. During the last retreats I learned quite a lot of Tibetan, particularly written, and the long translation that I'm currently working on, something Rinpoche has oft mentioned on his translation wish list, serves as a constant source of inspiration and clarification for my own meditation practice..
In addition to the privilege of doing retreat with Lama Tharchin Rinpoche and his chosen students, in the months since retreat ended I've helped guide various individuals and groups in contemplative practice. I believe deeply in and have seen the everyday and ultimate benefits of meditation practice. As much as I'm able to practice meditation in the extraordinary traditions that I'm part of, and serve as a lineage-holder to help sustain these traditions, this turns my mind to what is meaningful for myself and others, and changes my very substance. My aspiration to benefit others and serve the doctrine is reliant on this enlightenment process, and to this I'm entirely committed.
I am tired of Samsara, want to attain liberation, have a precious human body and time is ticking. I want to benefit all beings and the best way to accomplish this is to increase my positive thinking and positive karma and reduce my ego-clinging. I am generous, flexible, kind, empathetic, disciplined when not overloaded, and I finish what I start.
I have completed a 6 month retreat, helped establish a Dharma Foundation and retreat center and arranged teachings and empowerments with various teachers.
I find it difficult to maintain a daily practice with work and various responsibilities. I am a firm believer that concentrated effort on one thing is the most efficient and effective way to progress. I was a classical guitarist for 20 years and had a daily practice goal of four hours. In the beginning I didnÃt have any other responsibilities other then school and during this time my practice was strong. For this reason, I have had the aspiration to go into a long retreat since I first heard the teachings.
The progressive approach and the amount of undistracted practice time found in a long retreat present an amazing opportunity. Many causes and conditions have to come together for this opportunity to arise. I am so grateful and full of joy that I have this chance.
I expect to increase my positive thinking and positive karma, reduce my ego-clinging, and do my best to prepare for death. Also, I expect to create enough momentum to establish a reliable daily practice.
I pray that I will receive the blessings of the lineage, increase pure perception and have an unshakeable realization of the nature of mind. +
When I first met Tsede Kazi in 1989, she is H.H. Dudjom Rinpoche's step daughter from his first wife, I heard and saw some horrific things in my mind, it seemed as though I could not have a good thought without it being coupled with an extremely negative thought, this was like living with a very superstitious negative omen, I was afraid to do anything, like there were animals or beings fighting inside my body.
I was 26 when I moved to New Jersey; Ms. Kazi's method was to just scream at her students and move your energy to dislodge it with her Siddhi energy, it was more than I could handle and disturbed me quite a bit, after 9 years I had to move.
Then after living in Seattle for a few years and saying lots of Vajrasattva's and 21 Tara's I started practicing with another Longchen Nyingthik group under the direction of H.H, Dodrupchen Rinpoche, then my mind started calling prayers out of the blue, while I was sleeping, or in a meeting at microsoft, anywhere outside of my formal practice sessions A.M./P.M.
During my stay in NJ Ms. Kazi tried to force me to be vegetarian and it made me sick but I tried to stay with it, then while in Seattle after my practice started working a little for me I started eating a little meat while taking some chinese herbs and I became very strong so I decided to stop computer software testing work and try to live at Vajrayana retreat centers so that I could develop myself.
In 2008 I met V. Gyatrul Rinpoche and he introduced me to all of my Wangs and Lungs(directly or indirectly) to the point that I do not recognize the mind that negatively possessed me in the late 1980's and early 1990's
My practices are giving me consistent results and beneficial movement, my Mothers health has improved and my Fathers mental state has improved as a result of my being in the Dharma.
I would like to accomplish a three year retreat to strengthen my compassion without distraction and I think that this is a good time for me to do it as I have moved through many obstacles to get to this point in my life.
Thank you for your consideration; after reading your recent email
I looked for a PC that has a writeable version of Adobe for legibility.
Sincerely
David Tobey
Lama Tharchin and I discussed completing 12 years of retreat and he had already planned my second three year retreat. He was keen for me to do shedra and retreat.
I spent a year in New Mexico alone doing informal retreat on 160 acre ranch, returned for POL Shedra and later got involved in Khenpo Namdrol's program ending this year. Lama Tharchin and I had an understanding I would do more 3 year retreats and he expressed regret to three year retreatants that I wasn't present during certain seminal portions of the closed retreats. I feel his blessings so strongly and have longed to do more retreat to put into practice all the precious teachings I've received, to live and embody the teachings fully as I am able. It's hard to build up the necessary momentum to brake dualistic habits in the via activa. I feel the Guru's blessings and instructions are taking root in me and that I'm far less narcissistic than when I began my journey in Nepal. I'm not craving name and fame.
Lama Tharchin insisted on dharma "pour la dharma" and it was very difficult for me not to try to make a carear out dharma but I figured he knew best. Rinpoche wanted me to be a simple practicioner without ulterior motive. Perhaps I misunderstood, but nevertheless strove to slough off the world. This lead to a lot of hardships since I had a promissing carear first in South Asian Studies that I dropped to live near Lama Tharchin and then dropped the Transpersonal Psychology oportunity and PhD in Anthropology opportunity becuase they seemed to involve no small amount of spiritual materialisms and time commitments that would make it hard to gocontinue my studies with Lama Tharchin and Khenpo Namdrol. So at every turn I chose dharma over worldly pursuits.
Dungsey RInpoche repeated to me three times, "Study and practice, but don't only study," so this is what I have spent my life doing.
On yet another occassion he said, "You did three year retreat?" "Yes Rinpoche." "What did you learn?" "It's dificult to measure the immeasurable." "What?" he asked suddenly paying very close attention. "It is difficult to measure the immeasurable," I repeated. "Immeasurable," he said, "I like this word; three year retreatants should talk like this," turning to Nancy he began singing the Guru Rinpoche mantra most ecstatically.
For about five years now, I have had the intention to transition into a life of full-time, ongoing contemplative practice, and in the last several years I have been actively preparing to do so, both by developing my practice in personal retreat and also in terms of my relationships with family and loved ones. One piece that I feel is still lacking, however, is a vocational level of familiarity with the various aspects of Vajrayana practice, and a corresponding level of maturity and skill in dealing with the experiences that can arise during such practice. I have great confidence that engaging in this three-year retreat program under Lama Tharchin Rinpoche's perfect guidance will rectify that situation and allow me to continue in the direction I want my life to take. This is my reason for wanting to do this retreat.
In terms of my long-term goals, after this three years I intend to continue in personal retreat for as long as necessary to accomplish the various stages of Vajrayana practice. Then, if and when my teachers consider it appropriate and useful, I hope to be able to contribute in some way to the transmission of this path to another generation of practitioners. I am approaching this endeavor both as a way to follow through with the bodhisattva vow I have taken, and also to make the Ãoffering of practiceà to my teachers in order to repay their kindess. Having seen firsthand how profoundly and skillfully a realized person can help others, and having received this help myself, there is nothing I want more than to become that kind of person, in this life if possible.
I understand that in a Vajrayana context, oneÃs relationship with the teacher is of primary importance and the methods one learns from him are only useful as long as that relationship is healthy and is based on pure vision. Although I have only been a student of Lama Tharchin Rinpoche for a short time now, the three kinds of faith have arisen unmistakably toward him without any deliberate effort on my part, and I feel a deep sense of gratitude for his presence in my life. I have also been inspired by the way his students relate to each other and apply the principle of being members of a vajra family. So it has been very easy to maintain pure vision toward both Rinpoche and his sangha, and for that reason I feel confident I will be able to keep my samaya well, and to do so with pleasure, so that the guidance I receive from Rinpoche during this retreat will bear fruit. Also, his teachings align perfectly with those of my root teacher, Chogyal Namkhai Norbu Rinpoche, and Norbu Rinpoche has always encouraged me in my desire to do long-term retreat. So in terms of my relationship with my root teacher as well, there is no contradiction or uncertainty about my participation in this program.
In brief, my aspiration is that by participating in this retreat I can attain a degree of proficiency and stability in the various aspects of Vajrayana practice that will allow for my later efforts in retreat to be fruitful.
After spending many years doing my best to balance practice with serving my teachers by working at Dharma centers, I have a strong desire to do long-term retreat, where I am able to focus on practice in a truly dedicated manner. Lama Tharchin Rinpoche had hoped I would be able to join the last three-year retreat here at Pema Osel Ling, saying he found it very sad that people, in general, work quite hard, but rarely have the time to practice Dharma and accomplish the path.
Returning home to England after studying and practicing the Dharma in Asia in the early 90Ãs, I found finding the time to maintain my practice very challenging. Both Alak Zenkar Rinpoche and Gyurme Dorje encouraged me to practice within the context of working and living at a Dharma center. I took their advice and moved to the U.S. in 1995 determined to balance that work with formal practice.
While IÃve truly done my best to serve my teachers and the Dharma since then, it has become increasingly difficult to find time for sustained personal practice beyond my daily practice. When IÃve had the precious opportunity to engage in short solitary retreats around my work commitments, IÃve experienced the blessings of my teachers, a deepening of respect for the lineage, and a renewal of motivation to further my practice.
In 2012 and 2013, I participated in three-week Khordé Rushen retreats taught by Lama Tharchin Rinpoche. During most group retreats held at Vajrayana Foundation, as head of Dharma Programs I am responsible for a variety of roles - retreat logistics manager, lama/guest travel and housing coordinator, head chöpön managing ritual, tsok coordinator, etc. Being relieved of these duties during the Rushen retreats felt like dying in a way, but I realized that having the space to do retreat was liberating and energizing and that I sincerely wanted to do more. With Lama Tharchin RinpocheÃs passing two years ago, however, I realized the importance of working hard to maintain continuity in Vajrayana FoundationÃs Dharma Programs department and put my aspiration to do retreat on hold.
I have now come to a place in my heart where I am very excited to engage in the discipline of a three year retreat. Despite many years of studying and practicing the Dharma, both in Asia and the West, I am likely more than half-way through my life and feel I am still a flimsy, unstable practitioner. I genuinely aspire to gain stability in practice and to develop a deep level of experience in retreat that can bring unchanging confidence in the View.
After meeting H.H. Dudjom Yangsi Rinpoche briefly in 2014, I resolved to do my best to benefit the Dharma, particularly the Dudjom Tersar lineage. Being able to study and practice in three-year retreat at Pema Osel Ling under the guidance of Lama Tharchin RinpocheÃs close vajra bother, Lama Pema Dorje Rinpoche, a humble and realized master, would be a most precious and rare opportunity.
Kindly consider my application.
My wife and I have been attending Buddhist retreats and teachings for the past 30+ years. It has been our dream to do a long term retreat for many years. We have been studying with Lama Tharchin now for the past 10 years and we feel that now is the time to do it while we and Lama Tharchin are still healthy. +
My motivation for wanting to engage in three year retreat is the same simple motivation i expect that i share with the rest of my vajra brothers and sisters here at pema osel ling; to attain enlightenment for the benefit of all sentient beings in this very lifetime.
when i took my refuge vows and completed the Dudjom Tersar Ngondro i made this promise. at every retreat i attended, at every lung i received from my tireless and most excellent teacher Lama Tharchin Rinpoche, at every wang he administered to us to ensure that the blessings of our peerless and most exalted root guru his holiness Thinley Norbu Rinpoche will burn most radiantly in our hearts, i have made this promise.
for the last ten years i have practiced as best i could while maintaining a challenging career that i admit has kept me from applying the great effort i would like towards keeping my promise, but now it seems that the time has come.
it is my aspiration to commit whatâs left of my life to fulfilling my promise wholeheartedly, and i cannot think of any better way to show that i am serious than by entering in to this three year retreat and offering myself completely to the Lama, to spend the rest of my life fulfilling his wishes. +
My intention in doing three year retreat is to completely take to heart all the pith instructions, develop as many positive qualities as I can, and benefit beings and the lineage in whatever capacity I'm able. I have seen again and again that the comfort of wordly persuit is ultimately meaningless false contentment, and have conviction this will carry me through difficulty in retreat. I also hope to keep my mind stable and my bodhichitta intention pure as conflict arises in such a close group setting, to undo my habit of cherishing my happiness over that of others, and to be a helpful addition to the group that we all might accomplish the practice together. I've lived in many different close group settings growing up and as an adult and know how to navigate group dynamics and definitely think I can handle being in retreat with other people for three years.
Although I've met many great Lama's and interacted with many traditions it was not until meeting Lama Tharchin Rinpoche that I felt I had found my root teacher and the lineage that would be the focus of my life. After meeting Rinpoche in 2012 and subsequently coming to Pema Osel Ling, I knew I no longer needed to look elsewhere for teachers or teachings. I felt a greatly deep connection and intimacy with Ripoche from the very first moment I saw him, although I am incredibly saddned by the short time we had together, I also still feel a great closeness with him in my heart. To me Rinpoche was the perfect embodiment of a Buddha and a living, breathing, example of the fruit of truly pure Bodhichitta motication and Dzogchen practice, just seeing him showed me the true meaning of the teachings.
It was Lama Tharchin Rinpoche's heart-wish that westerners who were serious about practice, engage in Three year retreat, and so it is out of my devotion to him, my love and care for my fellow Buddhist's and all sentient beings, that I hope to complete this retreat and carry the discipline and compassion I develop through the rest of my life.
If not now then when? The 4 thoughts that turn the mind to Dharma are working for me. I believe , have faith ,take as my world view these thoughts. This may be my last chance, my last stop before the lower realms. Lamas die, I WELL DIE. I dont want to die with lots of regret for not taming my mind somewhat. I have all the teachings needed to put my self on the path of seeing, what a waste if i do not give it a good shot. How many life times? How much suffering? Am I Done Yet? YES I AM !!!!! Yes this is for myself, I want to take my self out of the river so i can then pull others out. Helping out is what my life is about. "More wisdom, More better, no regrets . The time is now. If not now then when?
yours in the Dharma
/\/\agnus +
I have had an inexplicable connection to Troma from my first meeting with Dharma in 1987. I requested Troma teachings in India, without really understanding why. This connection becme firm when In the summer retreat of 1993, Rinpoche did teachings on Troma. I was completely smitten. Troma firmly became my deity practice, and I made a firm aspiration to do Troma three year retreat.
I have always wanted to do this three year Troma retreat. The year I spent doing Troma ngondro retreat was such an intense purification for me on every level, physical, spiritual and emotional. When I "completed" it, I felt I could just do that one practice forever. I felt true happiness in the total immersion in Troma. I have felt this in my daily practice, and in every group Troma retreat I have done. It is beyond words but I connect with it through Troma practice. I connect deeply with Troma practice, and have unshakeable confidence in it. When Rinpoche told me he was going to do this two year portion of the three year retreat, I said I wanted to do it, without hesitation.
Rinpoche is so generously teaching now, and it is so precious. But with impermanence as the only certainty, it would be the biggest disappointment of my life to not do this particular retreat. It is just not clear if he would do another long Troma retreat, and I can't pass up this extraordinary opportunity.
My Mom is 92. I know I am going to live a long life. I want this life to be of bennefit to other, to truly be of service, to fully embody the qualities of Troma.
I am getting older, and it is imperative that I focus my life force now in the fruition of my highest pupose, realization of Buddha nature. I never plan to "retire" or go off into a dharma retirement center. I will always be integrating my spiritual practice in serving others, through healing, cooking, giving them vegetables, in whatever way I can contibute to life and truth. I truly and deeply experience Troma as my path to realization. I feel a deep yearning to excavate the trueness of my beingness and to be that for the bennefit of all sentient beings.
All the circumstances are perfect right now for me to do this retreat. I have a loving partner who has completed three year retreat who can shop for my food, and support my retreat. I am strong and in good health. I feel this retreat is truly stepping into the unknown. I am ready for that.
