Property:Letterofmotivation
From Tsadra Foundation Advanced Contemplative Scholarships
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In the first retreat I ever did, I felt like I opened a can of worms--and then the retreat was over and I had to scoop them up and stuff them back into the can.
Lama Michael said, "Yes, that's the advantage of a longer retreat."
I've thought about the possibility of what might happen in a long retreat.
I've talked to a number of 3-yr retreat graduates, and more than one has told me (independently) that at the end of 1 year they weren't sure they could continue. At the end of 3 yrs, they felt like they could just keep going--they were just getting started.
I've wondered what might happen in a retreat longer than 1 year.
After practicing a few years, I became aware of a pattern in my life where people depended heavily upon me for various ongoing needs. It happened again at KCC. I realized it was part of how I identified myself, and yet there seemed to be a much deeper need, for a different kind of "help".
I've wondered, "who am I if no one is depending upon me for all the stuff I do?"
And why does the presence (or just the recollection) of a great teacher like Bokar Rinpoche make everything "just fine as it is."
Meeting Bokar Rinpoche was a turning point in my life. Nothing could ever be the same afterwards. This 3-yr retreat is in his lineage, and I would like to help carry that lineage forward to the best of my ability.
My life is very good by most standards. I am almost 70 years old and in excellent health, from a long line of people who are active well into their 80's & 90's. I have many wonderful connections--sangha, business associates, family & friends. I've asked myself why I would cloister myself at this point in my life.
And then I think of my deathbed, and I know I would regret it terribly if I did not take this opportunity in this life. +
My life has been guided by the question, "How do we really heal?" I have spent 15 years practicing yoga, eight years practicing meditation, seven years as a massage therapist and breathworker, and four years studying Tibetan Buddhism. I have studied many modalities of healing, including structural integration bodywork, somatic psychotherapy, Transformational Breathwork, Reiki and several forms of energy healing. I also have a Bachelor of Science in botany, ecology and conservation. Through this diversity of study, the most beneficial things I have learned are the cultivation of awareness and mindfulness. It is through the practice of calm abiding, mind training, and cultivating bodhicitta that I have found my own life transformed.
My deepest desire is to help others truly find freedom and peace. In my time studying Tibetan Buddhism, especially under the guidance of teachers at Kagyu Changchub Chuling, I have received teachings that have helped me to work with my experiences in ways that bring more peace, kindness, compassion, and equanimity. In my work as a therapist, I have seen that anywhere I am not clear, I am not able to be there with another person. My aspiration is to become more clear within myself so that I may be more present and beneficial to others.
Retreat gives the gift of stepping away from the busyness of the world and all of the daily decisions that take up so much mental activity. I have found my practice deepens exponentially when I have had the opportunity to be in retreat. One reason I aspire to do long retreat is to allow the gross states of my mind to subside and allow the subtle states of mind to emerge. I desire to become more familiar with my internal world, and to be within a supportive environment so I may be present with all that arises.
I also wish to dedicate my time to practicing the lineage of vajrayana teachings of the Karma and Shangpa Kagyu. I have great confidence in the practitioners of this lineage, and I wish to thoroughly study and become familiar with the practices and teachings. Vajrayana practices are so skillful in working with all aspects of experience, and I feel very fortunate to have the opportunity to learn and practice with teachers Lama Michael Conklin and Lama Tara Goforth.
As the youngest aspiring retreatant, I feel myself in a unique position to bring the benefits of this retreat into the rest of my life and my community. I feel my home is at Kagyu Changchub Chuling, and I look forward to assisting in any way I can as the center continues to grow and evolve, and to support the teachings of the dharma so they may further flourish in this land.
Thank you for your consideration.
My motivation is very simple: I met Kalu Rinpoche. He is my teacher. This is his tradition and since I know that Kalu Rinpoche is my teacher in this and past lives, I want to take this to its fullest in honor of Kalu Rinpoche and Bokar Rinpoche. It was Bokar Rinpoche who really encouraged me. He was quite specific and certain--as opposed to the usual way of giving one a very wide range of suggestions or requests. He was very positive and certain about the instruction to do retreat.
I aspire that my practice will be at a level that it will have the meaning that it was intended to, for the welfare of all beings--that I will be a "functional tool of the dharma." +
From the first contact seventeen years ago, Tibetan Buddhism offered a fresh view, a rare wisdom that drew me in, curious to learn more. It is a mystery why there is such a strong pull; is it a karmic connection or past life experience?
Today the teachings still inspire, uplift and strengthen me. The Dharma and Sangha are a tremendous support. Often I will think of something I have read or heard, and it shifts my view of situations. In emotionally charged moments, it is the Dharma that provides a helpful perspective. A benefit of the Dharma in my life is that friends notice I seem to be changing in ways they appreciate. Something in me resonates with Tibetan Buddhism on a profound level.
For the past several years, while working part-time at a job and maintaining a small rural property, I have chosen semi-retreat at home. This manifests as choosing to live alone in a retreat-like setting, choosing to limit social contacts to infrequent visits and phone conversations with a few of my closest friends, choosing celibacy, choosing to meditate and chant Chenrezig up to two hours a day. Whenever possible, I joined a Sangha for meditation, teaching and attended weekend retreats. In recent years, Lama Tara kindly offered profoundly beneficial phone consultations on a monthly basis. This year for the first time, I began practicing Ngondro after attending a Mahamudra seminar in Washington last fall. Although I have wished for over thirty years to attend long retreat, until now life was more complicated. At the Mahamudra seminar I realized I was eager for retreat and the obstacles had mostly vanished. With joy, I applied and was accepted into Three-Year-Retreat.
Keenly aware that the more I practice, the faster I progress, I view retreat as a tremendous opportunity to learn far more quickly than if practicing on my own. Until now, I have progressed with self-study and limited guidance from Lamas. There is so much more for this novice to learn. Three-Year-Retreat offers an irreplaceable opportunity for intensive study, instruction, the support from the teachers and the other practitioners in a traditionally structured program.
My wish is to delve deeper into Tibetan Buddhist studies to be of greater benefit to others. I have often been hindered by my own limitations as I tried to help others. Clearly, there is much more to learn. Following retreat, one area where I hope to be able to help others is to provide support from a Buddhist perspective to those who are dying. In rural Oregon, most of the hospice volunteers seem to offer a Christian perspective whereas few are Buddhist. By the time I am dying, I hope there will be more support for Tibetan Buddhists. Toward this goal, I plan to prepare myself to assist others.
I first asked my main Guru Choje Akong Rinpoche to do a 3 year retreat when i was 23 years old. He told me " No, it is not the right time now. You need to work; we will see later". My answer to him was "Rinpoche, if I die before doing retreat, how am I gonna do ?". He smiled and told me "When it will be the right time I will tell you ".
Thanks to my Guru Choje Akong Rinpoche who requested HE Tai Situ Rinpoche to teach his own students , from 1991 to 2007 i could study the Mahamudra Ocean of Definitive Meaning with HE Tai Situ Rinpoche, who was teaching us directly in English. The practice commitment was 2 hours of practice / day.
In 2009, 17 years after my first request, Choje Akong Rinpoche finally accepted me in the last retreat that he would supervise and that he put under the authority of the excellent Drupon Rinpoche Khenpo Lhabu.from Thrangu monastery in Nepal.
I did that retreat and enjoyed it from the first until the last day. Until the end Drupon Rinpoche Khenpo Lhabu told me that my practice was going in right direction but that my view was still "fabricated".
Four years ago, I met Pema Yangchen Nymeyer who became my wife in December 2018. She brought me to Pema Osel Ling and i fell in love with the people and the place. Soon after that, i asked Lam Sonam Rinpoche and the Drupon if i could join the next retreat. After a long interview on Skype i was accepted and, in April 2019, I asked HE Tai Situ Rinpoche during an interview in Delhi with Dharma friends for his authorization and blessing for that retreat.
He kindly gave me the authorization and I don't remember being more happy. He also predicted that I would do another Karma Kagyu retreat in future.
I am doing now whatever I can to be ready for the retreat in Pema Osel Ling and hope it can benefit me and all sentient beings.
The US "green card" application was filed at end of January 2019 by a lawyer in Santa Barbara and I hope Tsadra Foundation will help me to gather the material resources.
I have been very fortunate to have previously participated in the past two retreats at Palpung Thubten Choling, and am whole-heartedly wishing to complete a third retreat. After graduating with a Masters degree in social work, and spending time volunteering abroad in developing countries, I knew I wanted to do something with my life that would be of benefit to others. However, I felt like pursuing the professional path of my degree would always leave me feeling like I wasn’t doing enough to truly help others. That my role as a social worker might only provide my clients with a temporary alleviation of their struggles. It wasn’t until I had the great fortune of meeting my Lama and being introduced to Tibetan Buddhism, that I finally felt as if I had encountered something that could potentially provide real benefit to myself and others. Throughout my past two retreats, I have tried really hard. I have kept to the schedule to the best of my ability, attending all group chanting and participating fully in whatever role was required of me. I have pushed myself through both physical sickness and emotional distress, and I never gave up on my practice. I have had to tattoo the words of patience and persistence in my mind, and recall every bit of encouraging words spoken by my Lama to pull me through any challenges I have faced. I know first-hand that retreat is not easy, but I also know that sometimes our greatest strengths can come from our greatest challenges. I want nothing more than to continue on my path of intense retreat in hopes of understanding and experiencing the truth of our situation, so that I may be of real benefit to others. I know I need to go back into retreat and to devote my time and energy into my practice, while also assisting the other retreatants in whatever capacity I am able to do. Because I have lived at the monastery since completing graduate school, I do not have the means to pay for my retreat. I am asking for assistance to pay for my retreat, because it is important that I financially contribute to my retreat, but am not able to do so. Not being able to financially contribute to my retreat would put a monetary strain on the entire women's retreat.
It has taken some years for my life to evolve from being someone interested in Buddha Dharma to becoming a more serious practitioner. After taking refuge with my first teacher, I put a lot of effort into travelling yearly to India to see him and receive instructions. Still, it took some years to integrate practice into my life home in New Orleans. After moving to Katog Rithrod and receiving more teaching and instruction from Khentrul Rinpoche, as well as simply being with him day to day, I have begun to see more clearly that a contemplative life, with “fewer needs and more contentment” (as Rinpoche says) is the direction I would like to take my life. Having watched two groups go through the three-year retreat program here, I can see the benefits of the retreat, both in the maturity of the graduated practitioners and also in how their retreats have helped support the work and energy of the entire community here. Though when I first moved here and for many years after, my focus was on activity and creating the retreat center itself, I slowly have been integrating more and longer retreats and strengthening my daily practices.
My goal is to move towards more and more study, practice and retreat that could be maintained throughout the rest of my life. This would allow me the time and flexibility to continue to support the retreat center and the people who come here for retreat. I believe the foundation of the three-year retreat will help me to build and stabilize that life of practice. The opportunity to do so and receive the education and meditation instruction from a teacher that offers such a thorough, profound, and traditional three year retreat curriculum is more than I could have ever hoped for. So, my aspiration is that in completing the three year retreat I am able to build the foundation for wisdom and realization which will allow me to be of greater benefit to all beings, in this lifetime or the next. My commitment is to the flourishing of the dharma, this retreat center and Khentrul Rinpoche’s activities, and the best way I can do that is to offer my life and work and be the best practitioner I can be to be of benefit to him and the center in any way needed.
Being in the midst of my first three-year retreat, I see how now more than ever, as times become more insecure and people more and more distracted and stressed, the authentic Dharma is desperately needed. In order to help the Dharma flourish in the West, we need strong traditions, stables centers of practice, and excellent practitioners who show the myriad ways the Dharma works to improve the lives of individuals and also society. While there are many ways to practice and inspire others to do so, for me, I feel a strong wish specifically to practice the way Tibetan yogis and yoginis of times past practiced: through deep retreat and a life of solitary practice with the aim of realization in one lifetime.
My deepest wish which is that this work and practice in retreat can be of real benefit to others, if only to inspire other practitioners to see that a contemplative life in retreat, or that retreats of any length will deepen their practice, strengthen bodhicitta, faith, and wisdom, and that contemplative practice is both worthwhile and doable and the most valuable way we can use the limited time of our precious lives, for our own benefit, and even more importantly, for the benefit of society and all sentient beings.
Though I am only a little over 2 years into my first three-year retreat, I can say with confidence that retreat suits me. I find it fulfilling, exciting, rich, and feel downright cheerful every morning when I wake at 3 a.m. knowing I have a day of practice ahead of me. I love the Dharma and I love the Vajrayana and never feel daunted by or bored by the repetition, rituals, practices or schedule. I’ve held silence the majority of the time and feel greatly benefitted by it. I don’t feel drawn to the world anymore, nor do I feel retreat life lacks anything but truly feel there is nothing else in this life for me to do than what I am doing now. I feel stable, well prepared for longer and more solitary retreat, and able to carry any adversity that arises onto the path. I hope to be exemplary in my practice and conduct in order to always inspire others to dive deeper into their own dharma practice. In doing so I hope to personally uphold and carry on my lama’s lineage, strengthen the Vajrayana Dharma in the West and show that traditional Tibetan Buddhism, with no alterations, can work to being Westerners just as it did for off of the practitioners of the past in Tibet, so there is no doubt that the Dharma is in itself complete to tame our minds and bring one to full and complete purification and realization. With Khentrul Rinpoche’s support, I believe the fruition of these aspirations is reachable.
I wholeheartedly wish to immerse myself full-time in Tibetan Buddhist practice, and it would be perfect to do this in the structured and guided practice program of a three-year retreat. Moreover, I cannot think of anything better than doing this near Garchen Rinpoche in Arizona – this would be the best place in the world for me to be. I also feel that it is exactly the right time now, because I have finished my studies, and I will be able to complete all my translation projects before the three-year retreat starts.
Having done one year of ngöndro retreat 3 years ago, I am familiar with retreat life and feel fully confident that a three-year retreat will greatly enhance my practice. I therefore sincerely wish that you will grant me your contemplative scholarship to fulfill my genuine aspiration to do the three-year retreat at Garchen Buddhist Institute.
After having studied and translated Tibetan Buddhism for eleven years, I really feel a strong urge and need to gain a deeper practical experience through a long retreat. This will also enable me to serve others better, for example by being able to translate the teachings with a deeper understanding. +
I would like to attend the three-year retreat first with the motivation to become a better human being so that I don’t remain a cause for the suffering of others, and then to be better able to genuinely help other humans in this world of increasing materialism, greed, natural catastrophes and pain. I deferentially make the aspiration to use this as a starting point to eventually gain liberation, so that I help all sentient beings to achieve true freedom from suffering.
The teachings emphasise the importance of retreat in gaining genuine realisation, and both Mingyur Rinpoche’s wandering retreat and Lama Rabsang’s commitment to live his life around his meditation box despite being the resident lama of Palpung Wales, have inspired me. Now that my own practice has slowly matured and become more stable, both teachers have given me their blessings for this and I feel that I am ready to commence long retreat.
Through my study and practice, I’ve tried as best I can to gather most of the causes and conditions for entering retreat, but gradual renunciation has made me see much more clearly how distractions still abound in my life. I can also see the limitations of trying to help others beyond a certain point. It is thus increasingly obvious to me that the most useful thing to do in my life is to consolidate my dharma practice through formal protracted retreat, as it would provide me with support, blessings and much less distractions.
I’m determined, dedicated, and committed to the lineage and my gurus to do what it takes, and I am grounded and realistic about the challenges of retreat, wishing for it to establish a strong foundation and momentum for future practice.
I humbly submit that if I were to be given a scholarship enabling me to do this retreat, I would be 100% committed to completing it with as much heart as I can. I wish to repay the kindness and generosity of the patrons of the scholarship through creating merit from my efforts to share with them and all other beings. I also understand that through my success, I will karmically plant the seeds for others to receive sponsorship in future.
Investing in my retreat would be beneficial to others after I complete the retreat, as I have no family responsibilities, nor any fixed agenda for my life afterwards. I would thus be willing to be guided by my teachers as to how best to spend my time afterwards to benefit others in the best possible way.
And why this retreat? I am British, speak no Tibetan and feel I would be best supported in a retreat with other westerners. This retreat is the only one in the world done entirely in English and, done in three yearly instalments separated by two gap years, enabling retreatants to mix and worldly life, and making it easier to sustain a high level of motivation for a year at a time rather than for more than three years continuously Mingyur Rinpoche told me he too felt I would benefit from the two gap years.
For the last several years I have had a deep wish to do another longterm retreat. At this time I had a growing feeling that I should deepen my practice and not just focus on studies themselves. Furthermore, as I mentioned in my Dharma curriculum vitae, when I spoke with Ven. Mingyur Rinpoche, surprisingly even though I did not mention anything about my longing to attend a retreat again, he advised that I already studied enough and should instead start practising again in longterm retreats. After that Ven. Chokyi Nyima Rinpoche and myself talked about my wish to do a longterm retreat and he told me that a three-year retreat in the Nyingma tradition is planned at the Gomde Pyrenees center.
He suggested this would be building up on my previous retreats done mainly in the Karma Kagyu tradition. The Gomde Pyrenees retreat is mainly in the Dzogchen and Nyingma tradition of Ven. Tulku Urgyen Rinpoche. Rinpoche also said that this retreat really would be a continuation and complementary to what I had previously learnt during the Karma Kagyu retreats. I felt very touched that Ven. Chokyi Nyima Rinpoche encouraged and accepted me to attend this retreat, giving me his full personal support and prayers to do so. For me this is such a precious opportunity to do such a long retreat fully supervised and guided by Ven. Chokyi Nyima Rinpoche and Ven. Lama Tenzin Sangpo. I feel honored that I have the opportunity to attend a retreat under such an accomplished master, coming from a family of highly realized practitioners.
The retreat will give me a tremendous opportunity to further mature in my spiritual practice. Based on the qualifications and Dharma background I bring in, I do hope that I am worthy for you to consider my application. Having the experience of my studies and previous retreats, I strongly feel that at this point in my life this is a natural next step in my practice. +
During meditation retreat I feel engaged in the benefit of self and others. When I am doing retreat I think: “This is what I am meant to do.” Since I haven’t reached a point such that I can say I am in inner retreat even when I am in a “worldly” context I think I need to do more… I need to do more until worldly seems the same as beyond worldly (for lack of a better expression), so that I can practice at all times, naturally.
Why do I think “This is what I meant to do”? If I analyze it beyond simply feeling that way, then I think relatively it has to do with reducing negative emotions like negative judgment of others, and developing positive emotions such as genuine caring for others. Ultimately, it means seeing beyond dualism and becoming habituated to clear light mahamudra, or the non-dual within the dual. Inevitably I experience greater clarity and peace after retreat time. I believe such clarity and peace is, through interdependence, naturally beneficial to all.
Even if I were to remain in retreat for the rest of my life without seeing another person — that is have no person-to-person contact with anyone — I still think my life couldn’t be spent in a better way. I genuinely feel that I can’t be content or make "spiritual progress” without that naturally affecting others positively whether or not I come into direct contact with them through the five senses.
As Situ Rinpoche says “even if I make 1% progress every life that is good, that is wonderful… in 100 lives I will be enlightened!” (or something like that — apologies to Situ Rinpoche if I got it wrong). It would be excellent if I could become useful to others by teaching, but it wouldn’t be necessary for me to feel fulfilled. +
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Because the Dharma is the only way I know that is the true path to end all suffering and I believe I can truly benefit all sentient beings by accomplishing my gurus wishes and staying in retreat. When I completed Drubdra in 1998 I felt overexposed and underdeveloped. I have in the last ten years done yearly retreats alone and in groups always at Pema Osel Ling. Last Year I came to Tashi Choling to receive two weeks empowerment and Gyaltrul Rinpoche invited me here to do retreat. I was ready so I moved here two weeks later. With the help of a sponsor and a carpenter I built a small straw bale hermitage and began retreat in September. My intension is to complete the noble path of the victorious ones in this life. I wrote to Gyaltrul Rinpoche after six months retreat and requested his blessing to stay in retreat for another four years. He said yes. +
This very retreat - beside having met my beloved Gurus +
I want to be fully trained in the practices of Trungpa Rinpoche and Thrangu Rinpoche so that I might be of better help to people who are on the path of Dharma. I am hoping after I conclude my retreat the war will be over in my country so I can go back and establish Dharma as it was taught by Trungpa Rinpoche... and hopefully, through this retreat, I will get more enlightened and become a better human being. +
Dear friends at Tsadra Foundation,
It is a pleasure to be sending in this application, as I have been waiting for the opportunity to do the three year retreat for several years now. The past three years at GBI, the three year retreat was postponed, and I have kept my life simple enough to be ready for it. This coming year, it is finally commencing, so it looks like my time has come. I have seen again and again, that time in a retreat container has softened my heart and brought forth compassion, understanding, and a relationship with wisdom. During retreat practice, I am reminded that nothing could be more important in a human life. So how could I not apply?
The conditions for this particular three year retreat are quite ideal, as Garchen Rinpoche is staying on site. Further, Drupon Rinchen Dorje is the guiding teacher, and I have really come to trust him as a teacher. I also feel strongly connected to Chakrasamvara and Vajrayogini, and so much of the time is spent with those practices. So how could I not apply?
Throughout my adult life, I have consistently dipped into retreat practice, and for someone who is quite young still, I feel I have the responsibility to take another step. I carry a unique mix of life experiences… time as a monk, time living in the forest, time living in other countries, experience in somatic therapy. I feel this mix of experience has prepared me well for this retreat, and it’s output will be a greater capacity to be of service to others.
To be honest, I am quite tired from filling out both these applications. A friend alerted me that the deadline was today, and so have scrambled a bit to get all of this together. I am happy to speak more in the future so you can get to know me a bit better, as my words fade out now.
Warmly,
Teja Forest Campbell +
My gurus are Garchen Rinpoche, Tulku Nyima Gyaltshen Rinpoche and Gyurmed Lordrö Rinpoche. When we are with them, or just thinking of them, they bring tranquility and ease into our minds. Whenever they speak, they show us how to view things correctly, thus untangling our twisted emotions and opening our minds. Whenever interacting with them, we feel loved and looked after as if we are their only child, thus giving us encouragement and strength to walk forward on the path of the Bodhisattva.
How wonderful my gurus are! I would like to be like them. To be like them I have to follow their path. All of my gurus gave me the same instruction that I need to diligently meditate with great love and the wish to help all beings. If I am able to do a long term retreat like Milarepa, Yeshe Tsogyal, Dilgo Rinpoche and all the great beings in the past, it will be very helpful to accomplish my wish. Therefore, I have been inspired to do long term retreats since my early days of following Budha dharma.
Furthermore, every retreat I have done, whether short or long, always brings significant experiences to deepen my understanding of the truths of compassion, emptiness, and their union. Thus, my own meditation experiences also have inspired me to do a three year retreat.
Although I had already finished my Uncommon Nongdro 10 years ago, and wanted to enter the three year retreat after that, I was unable to do so at that time.
Due to my own serious illnesses a couple of times, then my husband’s illnesses, and then my dog was paralyzed for 2 years requiring around the clock care. Not long after that, my mother became very ill, also needing around the clock care. In addition, I had quite a few translation requests, therefore, I have not been able to do it till now.
Among other things, there are so few opportunities now due to the pandemic, this a very precious opportunity to me, therefore, I really want to do this three year retreat.
Since everything is so impermanent, the freedom that I have to do a retreat now might be destroyed by any sudden incident. Therefore, I am very eagerly looking forward to this opportunity of the 2023 three year retreat program in Garchen Buddhist Institute.
I would like to take this precious chance to concentrate on practicing and to actualize the teachings of compassion, emptiness and awareness which I have learned in the past 22 years. In doing so, I hope that my compassion for others continues to grow genuine and vast. Thereby, enabling me to be more like my gurus, having the wisdom to apply skillful means to help others become free from suffering.
These are the reasons that I am asking for your support. I believe that we have the same goal of helping others to become free from suffering by practicing and realizing the Buddha dharma– the truth.
My sense of urgency for spiritual awakening has steadily increased over the past few years. This is due to several factors. The COVID pandemic was a major reminder for me that life can be turned upside down in an instant. I have had multiple personal life events that have quite abruptly reminded me of this truth as well. At the urging of my teacher Lama Sidney McQueen-Smith, contemplating death is a big part of my practice. More and more I realize that I need to take the opportunity for spiritual practice when it arises. Also, as I continue down the dharma path, the depth of suffering in myself and the people around me becomes clearer and clearer. I want to be of service as much as I can.
One of the beautiful things about the Gampo Abbey 3 year retreat is that it is broken up into 3 cycles, with a year back home between cycles. This will allow me to stay connected to my community, and make sharing the benefits from the retreat more realistic for me.
The timing of the retreat also aligns well with my personal life. 2 years ago I started what I thought would be a stable and lucrative career in Massage Therapy. While I do enjoy the work and want to continue with it, I have yet to build a consistent practice. 1 year ago my girlfriend and I began planning to get married and start a family. Due to several unexpected events, we broke up 6 months later. Both of these events helped further remind me of impermanence. They also mean that I have the ability to to commit to this retreat without major disruption to my home life. My parents are both in their early 60s and healthy, and I would have major hesitation about doing this kind of retreat when they’re older and they require more support from me.
I have had the huge fortune to be exposed to Zen, Tibetan and Theravada schools of Buddhism. However, my heart is firmly with the Kagyu lineage, and I felt a strong connection to it as soon as I was introduced. I see this retreat as a way deepen my connection and devotion to the lineage and its teachers and practices. Doing this retreat will also offer me the support of practicing alongside other practitioners, and give me the change to offer that support as well.
I strongly believe that I am ready and suited for this retreat, and my teachers do too. I also strongly believe that I am a worthy candidate for the scholarships, and that it will help me benefit beings around me.
Thank you so much for your consideration.
At the beginning of meeting the Dharma and my decision to practice and live in a Dharma
center there were some ideas of compassion and aspiration to see the truth. But honestly
looking back now, the main motivation was probably the wish to live a meaningful life and
furthermore the extremely magnetizing example of my first teacher, GenduÌn Rinpoche.
Over the years it became more and more obvious for me how much work I have to do on my
own being and the importance of intense practice to bring forth transformation. I thought after
years of retreat I could become more content and helpful for others. This seemed to be my
predominant motivation during the first three years of retreat.
Nowadays, on one hand I am even more aware that there is still much, much more work in
front of me, on the other hand I developed a strong confidence in the immediate benefit of
prayer and meditation.
Perceiving that our world is on many levels in a highly critical state, I wish that I will be
always able to make the Dharma the center of my life. And until now - as personal
contribution to a more wholesome world - to devote my energy as much as possible to
intense practice seems to be the most appropriate Dharma activity for me. Also I have the
feeling that retreat is still the best means for me to progress. All our teachers have always
strongly encouraged us to continue to practice in retreat.
4/4
Furthermore I am motivated by the gratitude and connection I feel towards Nehnang Samten
Chöling and this particular area of Dordogne - The Valley of Medical Plants (with its many
centers of Nyingma and KagyuÌ) - and perceiving the necessity to take part in establishing
and maintaining power-spots on this planet. In particular concerning this, the fact that the late
Lama TsuÌltrim, hidden siddha and closest attendant of Pawo Rinpoche, expressed many years
ago his vision that Nehnang Samten Chöling would have the potential to become a place for
serious long-term practitioners, is a great inspiration.
When I consider my present situation, it seems to me that I have a lot of supporting factors to
do retreat - and like this I feel extraordinarily fortunate. At the same time I am very
conscious about the fact that many of the conducive conditions are quite fragile. When I
reflect on the preciousness of my present situation and its uncertain nature, a strong
motivation to make the best out of it arises. Being aware that many essential Dharma
traditions become less and less practiced (or if so, then often distorted) is also a reason for my
participating in keeping precious transmissions alive through oneâs own practice. Moreover
considering future lives, to create strong karmic connections to teachers, methods and a life
dedicated to Dharma is of importance for me.
And not to forget, the naked wish to experience contentment and to become a simple and kind
human being (beyond any religiosity) I feel also to be at the core of my motivation.
Dear Tsadra Foundation,
My aspirations to attend three-year retreat is to continue to pursue training full-heartedly-and-complete in the Dharma for my own further transformation, but also for benefit of all sentient beings, and to eventually be able to be of immeasurable benefit to all sentient beings.
I have attended many group and solitary retreats, and there is nothing more that I desire in life except to whole-heartedly give my entirety to the Dharma for the benefit of all sentient beings.
I have had a strong daily Dharma practice since 2006, and I have had many different jobs, which helped to deepen my understanding of the Bodhisattva. However, now I feel something more is needed. In order to breakthrough some conditioning, which I've had my whole life, I need the support of an intensive, immersive, and demanding experience of the Dharma that is beyond the scope of what daily-routine life can provide.
I have worked hard. I have over come many, many, many challenges in my life, I have done a long solitary retreat of 1 1/2 - and I am currently working as a teacher with children, However, now there is something more that is needed, to give myself over 100% to the Dharma for the benefit of all sentient beings. So that, perhaps, one day I may be able to be substantially beneficial to other beings. As Jack Kornfield said, "we need more Buddhas in the world not more Buddhists," I aspire nothing less than to become a Buddha as soon as possible to end all suffering. I see no further use for this life except to one-pointedly attend to this possibility.
I want to attend this 3-year retreat at KTD because Karma Kagyu is my root lineage. I did the traditional Kagyu nongdro with Dr. Reggie Ray and have been in the Kagyu modality. I have taken abhishekas, and have attended two fire-pujas, all within the Karma Kagyu context. In 2016 I took abhisheka with Ven. Thrangu Rinpoche, and since then I have moved away from Dharma Ocean, and have one-pointedly committed myself to the Karma Kagyu. I have attended a group retreat at Vajra Vidya, and I have a working relationship with Khenpo Labzong.
Now that Khenpo Karthar Rinpoche has spoken to me and granted me his admission to attend a traditional Karma Kagyu 3-Year Retreat at KTD, I feel with great devotion I must attend this retreat and do everything I can to do just that.
Tsadra Foundation, please consider my application. There is no way I will be able to attend the retreat without your support. I have secured two donors, and I aspire to have savings for which I will be able to contribute, but the bulk-to-half of what I'll need will have to come from you.
Please consider me, thank you, gratefully,
Troy Suben
July 15th, 2019
