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-|letterofmotivation=I have seen for myself that even a small amount of exposure to the dharma with limited understanding can bring great benefit and meaning to life and this gives me confidence that through the Mahayana path one can truly be of benefit to others in a vast way. I believe that the opportunity to take part in this retreat would be a great help in going in this direction.
+|letterofmotivation=I have seen for myself that even a small amount of exposure to the dharma with limited understanding can bring great benefit and meaning to life and this gives me confidence that through the Mahayana path one can genuinely be of benefit to others through this path. I believe that the opportunity to take part in this retreat would be a great help in going in this direction.
-While even one month in retreat first sounded daunting, doing these summer retreats and practicing at home have gradually instilled in me an aspiration to take part in the traditional three-year retreat. From the limited practice that I have done, I've sometimes felt as if I was finally becoming slightly aware of beginning less delusion as the driving force behind one's projections and suffering, the sense of the current of ignorance carrying you on and on, not just theoretically and on paper, but what is actually happening, or seems to be anyway, and the endlessly frustrating pain this causes for all beings. After a vivid experience of this during a week-long retreat for Green Tara in rural Ontario this past September, I felt that now was the time to research the possibility of a three-year retreat more earnestly, while I still could. Wanting to continue in the Nyingma tradition and having heard that Chokyi Nyima Rinpoche was doing one in France, I got in touch with the coordinator there. Listening to some of Rinpoche's teachings online, I felt deeply inspired by his clear explanations and evident compassion and greatly longed to learn from this master. Some time back I had also been inspired by reading his father Tulku Urgyen Rinpoche's memoir, Blazing Splendor, which talks a lot about the Chokling Tersar history and this increased my interest to do this specific retreat. Bearing in mind the four thoughts, refuge/bodhicitta and the great force of habitual tendency, I believe practicing dharma in long-term retreat to be the ideal way to work with the samsaric state of delusion in which I find myself and that this retreat in particular would be an amazing opportunity to go deeper into the tradition I feel most connected to.
+While even one month in retreat first sounded daunting, doing these summer retreats and practicing at home have gradually instilled in me an aspiration to take part in the traditional three-year retreat. It seems that something happens during a retreat where you're just able to turn your mind more effectively to the dharma than in your normal day to day life nd its honestly been frustrating (as deeply grateful as I am for these Palyul retreats) to have to leave after the month is up. From the limited practice that I have done, I've sometimes felt as if I was becoming slightly aware of the negative habits of mind being the driving force behind one's projections and suffering and the endlessly frustrating pain this causes for all beings. After a sense of once again being confronted with my own shit during a week-long retreat for Green Tara in rural Ontario this past September, I felt that now was the time to research the possibility of a three-year retreat more earnestly, while I still could. Wanting to continue in the Nyingma tradition and having heard that Chokyi Nyima Rinpoche was doing one in France, I got in touch with the coordinator there. Listening to some of Rinpoche's teachings online, I felt deeply inspired by his clear explanations and evident compassion and greatly longed to learn from this master. Some time back I had also been inspired by reading his father Tulku Urgyen Rinpoche's memoir, Blazing Splendor, which talks a lot about the Chokling Tersar history and this increased my interest to do this specific retreat. Bearing in mind the four thoughts, refuge/bodhicitta and the great force of habitual tendency, I believe practicing dharma in long-term retreat to be the ideal way to work with the samsaric state of delusion in which I find myself and that this retreat in particular would be an amazing opportunity to go deeper into the tradition I feel most connected to, having at this point developed at least some small faith and connection to Guru Rinpoche through the blessings of my teachers.
-I spent a week over the new years holiday at Gomde Pyrenees while Chokyi Nyima Rinpoche was visiting to open up the then just finishing first 3 year retreat. This was a great experience even on its own and further cemented my committment to do the retreat if possible. Aside from the spiritual impact of meeting Rinpoche and receiving his blessing to take part, it was also really helpful to speak with some of participants of the first group and this definitely made me feel more confident going forward. Drupbon Lama Tenzin gave a talk on the 3 year retreat and said that if by the end of retreat we're not realized, there's no need to feel bad; we will know how to practice dharma and be on the path and that's enough. I've kept this in my heart since.
+I spent a week over the new years holiday at Gomde Pyrenees while Chokyi Nyima Rinpoche was visiting to open up the then just finishing first 3 year retreat. Aside from the spiritual impact of meeting Rinpoche and receiving his blessing to take part, it was also really helpful to speak with some of participants of the first group and this definitely made me feel more confident going forward that it is a really worthwhile opportunity in spite of whatever difficulties might arise. Drupbon Lama Tenzin gave a talk on the 3 year retreat and said that if by the end of retreat we're not realized, there's no need to feel bad; we will know how to practice dharma and be on the path and that's enough. I've kept this in my heart since.
-We all know the difficulties of trying to balance spiritual practice with everyday life's endless demands, complications and confusion (especially as a beginner) and given the drastic state of the world right now, it seems really important to do what you can to work with your own ridiculous thoughts and try to develop at least some basic compassion and wisdom. Without wanting to be too idealistic about what I may or may not accomplish, I think that being able to receive and practice in a focused manner this cycle of profound terma teachings would be a very meaningful way to spend a few years and would also provide many lifetimes worth of precious pith instructions to reflect and meditate on. Also, while I will greatly miss my Palyul teachers, I can't help but feel that all of these masters speak with one voice and am excited to train in the Chokling Tersar lineage as well.
+We all know the difficulties of trying to balance spiritual practice with everyday life's endless demands, complications and confusion (especially as a beginner) and given the drastic state of the world right now, it seems really important to do what you can to try to work with your own ridiculous thoughts and develop at least some basic wisdom and compassion for others and yourself. For post retreat life, my aspiration is that whatever change I've gone through during these few years will help me to more effectively ripple out positive energy and benefit to the world, even if only in very small ways. As far as my personal life goes, I am 34 years old, single and childless. I did not go to post secondary school and have mostly spent my life trying to balance working whatever menial jobs I could get with a passion for songwriting and music recording. My family and friends are supportive of my intention, which has been a great blessing, and my dharma friends from the Palyul sangha here and in the States have been incredibly helpful and kind in offering spiritual and financial support. In conclusion, I may not be the most experienced or well studied of aspiring practitioners, but still, I think I'd make good use of this precious opportunity and I'd be deeply grateful for the support of Tsadra in helping me to do so.Thank you for your time. (Sorry if this is too long!)
- As far as my personal life goes, I am 34 years old, single and childless. I did not go to post secondary school and have mostly spent my life trying to balance working whatever menial jobs I could get with a passion for songwriting and music recording. In this sense, I am in a good position (if not financially) to do this kind of retreat because I don't have much responsibility at the moment. My family and friends are supportive of my intention, which has been a great blessing, and my dharma friends from the Palyul sangha here and in the States have been incredibly helpful and kind in offering spiritual and financial support. In conclusion, I may not be the most experienced or well studied of aspiring practitioners, but still, I think I'd make good use of this amazing and very rare opportunity and I'd be deeply grateful for the support of Tsadra in helping me to do so.Thank you for your time. (Sorry if this is too long!)
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