Property:Letterofmotivation
From Tsadra Foundation Advanced Contemplative Scholarships
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With clarity, strong conviction, pure intention and deep devotion to my teacher, Lama Norlha Rinpoche, I look forward to participate in the 2011 traditional three-year retreat. My aspirations are to perfect the transformation of my heart, to cultivate wisdom and compassion and awaken the Buddha-nature, so I may genuinely be able to help sentient beings. The retreat is the most important and meaningful journey I can fulfill now. I am blessed with a perfect realized teacher who has mastered Tibetan Buddhist teachings. Based on these teachings and practices, I now must transform my intellectual understanding to attain personal realization and gain direct experience. By mastering the beneficial results of the retreat practices, I aspire to fulfill my highest potential to benefit others.
The retreat practice will be the next important step to help me continue my lifelong deep spiritual quest that began at an early age in India, where spirituality and religion are an integral part of daily life. When I was seven, my father having had profound realizations, left home on his spiritual journey to join an ashram and I never got a chance to see him again, setting the foundation for my own Spiritual awakening. My exploration of spirituality further strengthened, when I attended Catholic boarding school, Good Shepherd Convent in Mysore, and started studying Christianity. During college, my stepfather, a devout Hindu Brahmin and patron of many temples, further enriched my spiritual growth when he invited Vedic philosophers and priests to conduct discourses (Satsang) in our home. I also learned transcendental meditation and started meditating in 1978.
The meaningful lessons of impermanence I encountered years ago, has only made my conviction stronger to devote my time completely to dharma practice. In my twenties, I was employed as a Cathay flight attendant, lived in Hong Kong and traveled internationally. I was 28 when I received news my mother had passed away and she was only 50 years old. During this period of inconsolable grief, I fiercely questioned my own mortality and the real purpose of our existence. I had a deep realization about the Impermanence of life and recognized that all things of value one has to leave behind, only spiritual accomplishments will be of any worth.
Having found an authentic realized teacher I continue my spiritual journey that began in earnest the past decade. In 1999, I moved to New York and at my birthday celebration, I received a beautiful gift, a statue of Buddha whose serene smile provided great peace and comfort over the years. Eight years ultimately passed and I felt great dissatisfaction with material aspects of life. At a chance visit to the Rubin Museum, I was drawn to the Book “Awakening the Buddha Within” by Surya Das, which led to me to read “Luminous Mind” by Kalu Rinpoche. I then discovered Kagyu Dzamling Kunchab Tibetan Buddhist Center and started attending practices regularly. Within 10 days of joining the center, I received Refuge and Chenrezig empowerment from Lama Norlha Rinpoche, a blessed discovery of my authentic teacher under whose mentorship I humbly look forward to participate in the 2011 Retreat.
My wish is to help as many beings as possible in Japan by helping them to establish positive connections to the authentic Dharma so that they will be freed from the sufferings of Samsara.
In Japan, dangers from natural disasters such as volcanic eruptions, earthquake, tsunami etc. are very high. These days, It seems that we also have much negative influences from deceased beings who are not able to depart causing negative influence in such things as crimes as well
I believe it would bring inconceivable benefits to beings and environment in Japan and beyond if I could build Stupas, bury many treasure vases throughout Japan and perform Sang and Sur pujas, perform life releases etc. I wish accomplish all of these activities.
In addition, I believe it would benefit beings and Japan greatly if I can help the introduction and spread of Kagyu Lineage in Japan. Gyalwang Karmapa himself expressed his interest in visiting Japan in the future. I would like to assist this in any way I can.
In short, I would like to protect beings and Japan through he power of Vajrayana Buddhism.
In order to succeed in all of these and to confidently bring inconceivable benefits to all beings and environments in Japan and beyond, I need to accumulate vast merits, receive authentic teachings and practice them correctly and extensively. In order to benefit as many beings as possible, I must participate in retreat.
In addition, I have never met with Japanese person who have done 3 year retreat, by me participating in the retreat I hope I can inspire others to follow.
Ultimately, in order to bring maximum benefit to all sentient beings, I must become enlightened. +
I have the strong aspiration to receive and practice intensively the heart practices of Kamtsang Kagyu (and the Shangpa practices that will be taught in this retreat too). For this, I think that this retreat would offer the best possible context to learn, practice and receive guidance, in a way that would be impossible outside of it.
Although I will do all within my reach to practice properly and experience some realization, my more realistic goal is to continue to practice in personal retreats after it, alternating it with helping the Shangpa and Karma Kagyu dharma centers in Brazil, until I could be able to really benefit others.
Another one of my main goals is to be able to act in a way that benefits non-buddhist too, for example the promotion of secular ethics as approached by the Dalai Lama, and environmental and social activism, as promoted by the Karmapa. For these, I think this retreat would provide a very solid experience for the cultivation of the inner strength required to do this kind of work. +
since childhood I have shown myself to be an introversive person that preferred to sped time with animals or in isolation with that
was feeling. I consider those moments as valuable and revitalizing because they allow me to hear and into the depths of what is
going on both inside and outside. i grew up in a Catholic familly and by the influence of my grandmother principally used to attend
mass regularly, and used to follow her in her altruistic actions such as her motivation for her spitirual path. With her guidance I
learned that we must follow and respect. I consider that I must do this retreat because I always have considered the guide and
transmission as fundamentals in order to prepare before doing something really valuable for other beings. I consider it important to
observe what is to be human in its totality, where the spiritual and mental should be the center of attention. I consider that it is
necessary for beings to have access to Budhism without letting distance or economic situations be obstacles to following this path.
thus my intention to realize this fruition of this retreat is not based only in an individual motivation, but rather also an altruistic
motivation where my principal reasons are to be able to understand and help beings from the mental and spiritual sides. After
finishing high school I wanted to study the human mind but even though with having studied other careers before, I always had in
mind this preciously spoken of inclination. Now I am in the eight semester of studying psychology. I always have been thinking that
human beings are more than what we can observe by simple view; its just necessary to look further away and understand all thr
parts that are involved, taking into account that spitirual side must be considered as the most important and must be counted as the
core. Because of all of this, I consider this retreat as a great opportunity to go into dephs of the spiritual path and acomplish all the
levels that can allow me to become more profoundly aware and to be effective in this goal of helping all beings.
a right guide at the moment of following a spiritual path is of vital importance. for that reason entering this particular retreat is a
great opportunity because of the guidence of the Venerable lama Norlha Rimpoche. I have had the opportunity of attending some
of his teachings, empowerments and guided practices and I trust him blindly. He is a great Bodhisattva that has been helping the
West in unimaginable ways. I wish to follow his example and be able to help Latino america by any way and be able to be a
channel of trasmission of the Kagyu Lineage. I consider of vital importance to maintain the authenticity of this lineage, and for this
reason I am ready to assume this responsability of keeping this tradition pure and furthermore to be able to help that it be
maintained and to be trasmitted to all of Latino America and world in general.
Latino America is located in an unfavorable place where it is not customary to find Buddhist teachings. For that reason I consider it important help to disseminate this path and make it known by the people here. I also consider that the social position, geographic location and economic position should not be obstacles to the moment of accomplishing realization. If I can accomplish this retreat I would be able to put this path to the access of an uncountable number of people who have the potential of accomplishing great spiritual goals.
I deserve the support from your organization to make this possible because this retreat is my great dream for which I want to strive and obtain all the benefits that it offers both to the individual and to oneÃs society. I want to accomplish all of the spiritual levels that will enable me to help all beings in an integral way. I consider that I was born to do this retreat in this life because of the strong sense of connection that I experienced the very first moment of being at KTC. I love Buddhist philosophy and consider it a responsibility to make this spiritual retreat possible. I am ready to assume with responsibility and diligence all the objectives established in each level of the retreat, to make effort strenuously to attend and learn all of the Buddhist teachings I will be receiving and to be able to understand as much in a spiritual as intellectual way these teachings with pure motivation.
Thank you so much for considering my application and your support in any way that is possible.
Before I was introduced to Buddhism, I was a very confused and angry person. I wanted to blame everyone else for my sufferings and instead of facing them I did whatever I could to feel something else, or nothing at all. Once I began to study the Dharma and began meditating it was like opening my eyes for the first time. Slowly, but steadily, my perceptions on things began to change, and I could look more deeply into why I felt the way I did and begin to change that. After intensively studying and practicing the Dharma for the past couple of years, I can feel a major shift inside of myself and how I relate to everything and how it has helped me. I aspire to be like Rinpoche, and how he constantly works for the welfare of everyone he meets without self concern. When I see people who are in the same position or mind set that I was in 6 years ago, compassion wells up inside and I want to be able to help them the same way my teachers have helped me. My reasoning for doing retreat is so I can truly work on myself in a much deeper level, and separating myself from worldly life for three years gives a wonderful opportunity to go deep into the practices and to hopefully gain some realization of the teachings. After engaging in study and practice without worldly distractions for three years do I feel like I may actually be able to help others on the path. Ideally after completing this retreat I will re-enter for a second retreat, and I aspire to complete a solitary retreat after that. I look at all of the past great lamas who have guided so many beings, and they all spent considerable amount of time in retreat truly gaining realization, and I aspire to do the same. I have developed a strong renunciation for worldly life and long to live a life devoted to the Dharma, and for this reason I will be taking monastic vows prior to entering retreat.
I think you should consider my application because I have worked very hard in my practice, and truly want to deepen it. Over the past two years my practice, study, and Dharma center has come first and other activities, such as going out with friends, came second. Ever since I heard of the three year retreat, I knew it was something I wanted to do, and originally I intended to just take monastic vows this coming year and then enter the retreat following this up coming one to give me time to save up money. However, Rinpoche has been very insistent that I enter this next retreat, and not wait. I thank you for you consideration.
Dear Tsadra,
The following letter describes my reasons and aspirations for wanting to do the 3 year retreat.
From a young age I remember being very sensitive to an unease that was always present in my experience of life. It's a kind of background tension that I experience between myself and the outside world. One expression of this was that I would look to find fault in the world and in those around me as a way of justifying this tension. When I was 26 years old I read a Dharma book which explained that the cause of my suffering was actually not my environment but that it was my mind, or rather my own ignorance of my mind. I was immediately inspired by this change of perspective because it seemed to me that my mind was something that I could work with, and that it was always available to me if I made the effort. I found the idea that I am responsible for my own experience to be both very liberating and also grounding.
Through working with my mind according to the Dharma, my initial confidence has been steadily reinforced as I've experienced it's unerring truth. I have found that as much as I am willing to apply myself to the path, my self-centred emotions have decreased and I am able to have a more positive effect on the people around me as a result.
In 2008, I asked my ordination preceptor, Jamgon Tai Situ Rinpoche for direction and he advised me to go to Kagyu Thubten Choling monastery, and to do the three year retreat under the guidance of the Venerable Lama Norlha Rinpoche. I had no doubt in following this advice and I have found Lama Norlha to embody the Buddha's teachings.
Although, through practicing the Dharma my coarse emotions have been greatly reduced, I am increasingly aware that my more subtle obscurations are actually very deeply rooted. I feel that because of this, my practice is still inconsistent and that the only way for me to really uproot my suffering is through the pro-longed and intensive practice of the Vajrayana methods, away from worldly distractions.
My aspiration for my practice and for doing this three year retreat is that I may benefit beings as much as I am able to. In the future this could mean further retreats or otherwise, I'm not sure. Really, I will look to Lama Norlha Rinpoche for direction and guidance and I will have no doubt about following his instruction.
May all beings be happy!
Yeshe Rabsal
I took refuge in the Buddhist path with Lama Norlha Rinpoche at Kagyu Thubten Chšling monastery my freshman year of college, though the first leg of my journey turned out to be a thorough exploration of doubt. In college I was very interested in the potential of artmaking as spiritual method, one that simultaneously engaged the outer and inner universe and culminated as a material object. Throughout my college years, I was always more compelled by the awareness that I cultivated within the studio than my experience of traditional meditation methods, such as a daily shinay practice. Because of the various directions of my education - prolonged investigations into Western philosophy & mysticism, painting & moving image work - at a college that did not offer religious study or any school of eastern thought, I did not cultivate the right motivation for exploring the vajrayana. I could study it like an anthropologist, but my mind was closed to its view. It is ironic to consider now how vajrayana methods of meditation parallel what compelled my artistic practice - the engagement of imaginative vision and material reality to cultivate awareness.
Upon graduating, the intellectual culture around me collapsed, dissolved, and I recognized with a new confidence the emptiness of my philosophical efforts in school. Even in this Ãalternativeà environment that encouraged students to explore the breadth of philosophical, political, and social possibility, every school of thought seemed to land on a spectrum of nihilist or eternalist outlook. No one seemed interested in engaging their present awareness (without some sort of special circumstance or drug). The goal of most studentsà artistic journey was to locate themselves within a fleeting cultural moment, an inevitably tormented process. Every motivation was artificial and difficult to believe in, an effort of self-deception. Upon graduating, I realized that the very precarity of these mental formations was where to look for meaning. For the first time my heart felt open enough to revisit the monastery and meet with Lama Norlha Rinpoche.
Immediately upon attending his teachings on Jamgon KongtrulÃs Calling the Lama from Afar, a seed of devotion was planted. Before this time my understanding of the Buddhist path had been fragmented and interrupted by other strong concepts. For the first time, I understood every aspect of practice as a facet of a total view. I immediately requested to begin the preliminary practices. The idea of doing a long term retreat, which before seemed very extreme, began to seem natural. After this, I did try for a time to integrate the motivation of bodhicitta into an ordinary life, one with a house and friends and two jobs. I soon realized dual motivations of going towards spiritual realization and trying to succeed in samsara were mutually damaging.
I am not in a stage of practice where I can achieve true integration of spiritual motivation in a materially oriented society. Retreat is the natural next step. Of course I want to realize the total potential of my precious human life, and through doing so benefit the world. And of course, to do so requires space and time to work with tenacious habits and go into practices deeply. Right now I can so clearly see my own potential. To go towards anything else would be a waste of precious time.
I have been practicing in the Karma Kagyu lineage for three years, and my life has gone through a lot of changes in that time. Through studying and hearing the profound teachings, and also being around my root lama, Lama Norlha Rinpoche, my world view has drastically transformed, and continues to evolve. In particular the Four Thoughts that Turn the Mind Towards Dharma have colored my perception, and I am constantly reminded of them both in my formal practice, and in the phenomenal world.
Even though I feel like I have changed in dramatic ways through my practice of the Dharma, I am ready to go deeper, and I think three-year retreat is the appropriate vehicle for me at this time in my life. I want to create a solid foundation for practice so that I can continue to develop qualities of wisdom and compassion throughout my entire life. I also want to enter a deeper relationship with my teacher, by relating to the principles of Lama, Yidam, Protector inseparable from the true nature of mind. I am aware that these profound realizations do not come about easily in samsara, and I want to dedicate myself to practice at this time. I need the support and structure of retreat to go deeper. As my lama says, we are so influenced by our surroundings and companions, and I want to be in an environment that is wholly supportive of looking inwards, and setting the intention to benefit others.
At the same time, retreat will teach me about my habits and tendencies so that I can work with them in a more honest, direct way. By not having distractions around me all day long, retreat will allow me to work with my mind and see the obstacles to my practice.
I really aspire to help others through the Dharma, and I know retreat will allow me to accomplish this in a vaster, more profound way. Through understanding, practicing, and living the teachings, I will be able to be a real support for others. I have natural leadership qualities, and people have always seen me as a strong individual with whom they seek guidance. However, I know my own limitations to help others, and know retreat will unlock qualities of genuine wisdom and compassion that will be of more profound benefit. Already my determination to enter a strict retreat has inspired others, and I wish to be a source of inspiration for others throughout my path, by continuing to develop my own practice, and my intention to work with others.
You should consider me as a candidate for this scholarship because I am completely dedicated when I commit to something, and I don't hold back. This is a most precious opportunity and I take it very seriously. I am by nature a disciplined person, and have held my daily commitments without break. I take Dharma to be the most serious aspect of my life, and true refuge.
My teacher is aging, and I also see the impermanence and preciousness of this opportunity, and I know this is my chance now, and I have to take it.
My interesti n participatingin this Three-YearF letreats tems from my commitmentt o my practice,a s well as my
wholeheartedin tentionto benefito thers.l n my firstr etreatI was ablet o gain an cveralLs enseo f dharrnap ractice.l n
this secondr etreat,I hopet o clarifyr ny understandinogf the teachingsa nd determineth e bestw ay for me to apply
them to the concerns o{ the world.
Lookingb acka t my originaim otivationI, can see ciearlyt hat bodhicittah as beeni n my heartl ongb eforeI had ever
heardt he term. InitiallyI, e nteredu niversityw itha spirationsto benefitt he worldt hrouih politics.N* evertheless,
disillusionmenwti thW ashington-withi ts cornpetitivenesns,o isea nd pollution-drovem e to the forest,w hereI worked
towardsp reservingth e environment. However,I foundt hat even in the calm peacea rnongt he treess omehowt hat
noisea nd pollutionr emainedin my own heart.
Heturningto WashingtonI, soughfm editationin structiona s a remedy.T hroughs tudya nd practice,I recognizedth e
limitso f the samsaricm eanso f politicsa nd environmentasit ewardshipa, nd 6egant o see a largerp otentiafio r my life's
workt hrouEht he skilfulm eanso f the dharma.I aisoc aughta giimpseo f an innerc almt o whicht he rustling; eaveso f
the forest couid not compare.
This expandedv iewo f compassicnc ombinedw ithm y ever-growingd evotiont o my lamas,p articularlyL amaN orlha
Rinpoche.A s I learnedo f three-yeare treat,I was impelledm e seeka spot in the very nexi one. Myeonviction
stemmedi n largep artf romt houghtso f the impermanencoef theseg reatT ibetanm asters. I havef oundR inpocheto
be likea mothera nd fathert o all of his studentsa, nd I prayt hat I may continuem y trainingw ith him for yearsa nd
lifetimesto como. Throught he powera nd blessingso f this unbrokenl ineage,I trily belie;et hat each inclividuawl ho
makess inceree ffortw ill attainh is or her goalo f completee nlightenmenfto r the sakeo f all beings.
I firste nteredr etreatw itht wo-foldm otivation:c ompassiona nd devotion.I begint his seconcoi ne witht hat same
irnpetus. During the first rejreai a great deal of my energy was spent iearning the outer procedural aspects o{ practice;
the structureo f sadhanasT, ibetanl anguagec, hoponingi,n strumenpt laying,a s welia s acclimatingto the retreat
schedulea nd lifestyleW. itht hatf oundationI, now havet he spacet o accesst he practicesa t a dee-pelre vel. I am able
to gleanm ore meaningf romt he commeniariesa, nd havem oreo pporiuniiyto work witht he mindt eachingso f cherim,
dzokrim,a nd mahamudraa s I chanta nd recitem antras.I n workingw itht he otherr etreatantsI, a m learniigt o pui
wordst o what understandingI h ave,a nd alsof indingt he gaps in it.
ll is my aspirationih at this secondr etreatw illa llowm e to stabilizea nd enhancem y practicet o the point6 f true
certainty,a nd to becomea n effectivem embero f the Sanghaa nd assistantt o Rinpoche. To whatevere xtentt he Tsadra
Foundationw ouldb e ablet o lends upportt o my efforts,I wouldb e trulyg rateful.
I began this precious human rebirth born to a teenage mother. Though she struggled to keep
both of us fed, clothed, and housed, I felt constantly supported and loved. As I grew older, I
found myself fluent rn a language that expressed my deepest upset over being born blaclg
poor, and gay. By college, this deep upset had pvolved into utter rage. I believed that I was a
victim of decisionsm adeb eforem y birth-decisions I had in no way consentedto .
By my mid-twenties, my rage had tumed inward as severe depression. Eventually I would
meet a gifted healer who taught me basic meditation and helped to end the depression, and in
the process ignited an acute interest in working further with my mind.
Several months later, after having joined a local Sangha and embracing Dharma as my path, I
was reading Ani Tenzin Palmo's biography Csve in the Snow and 3 aspirations revealed
themselves. They were: 1) That I must spend a part of my life in intensive retreat; 2) That I
must teach others the path of Dharma; and 3) Being a Black American with deep concern for
social and spiritual issues concerning people of coloro that I must teach and guide people of
color on the path of Dharma in this life. Slowly, I begau to see how the "decisions" made
before my birth were actually the foundation of my purpose in this life.
With the help of my Sangha my practice deepened. Yet what also deepened were my
feelings of marginalization.I did not know or see people like me; people that could identiff
with my experienceso f classor aceoa nd sexuality. Nor did I feel comfortable asking my white
heterosexual teachers how I should practice with years of deeply internalized racism and
homophobia. There wereo for instance, overt acts of classism within my own Sangha, but my
voice felt small and mufTled within a homogenous culture of middle/upper class white
practitionersI. felt invisible.
After moving to KTC, I continued to feel a private anxiety about being one of the few black
Americans in the Sangha until Lama Norlha Rinpoche directly confronted my unspoken fear
telling me, 'oI don't see race. Do you understand?'With those words he gave me permission
to let go of my internal struggle while revealing how my own attachments to race could
create obstacles in ftlfilling my aspirations.
My years as an activist and student of sacial transformation have taught me that real change
never begins until room is made at the table for all members of a community. The true depth
and character of American Buddhadhanna can never reveal itself until it reflects the diversity
and addressesth e vital conoernso f all current practitioners as well as those waiting for
invitation to join the banquet at the table.
I know my role be a facilitator of the cunent bansformation in American Buddhadharma that
will reveal an authentic American Dharma. Moreover, I now understand that the "decisions"
made before my binh are actually strengths I am learning to rely upon to fulfilt the
aspirations of this precious human rebirth. Furthermore, my practice thus far in retreat has
helped me tremendouslyi n clariffing my aspirationsa nd has in all ways strengthenedm y
commitment to this work of accomplishing the benefit of myself and all beings.
Although I was raised Jewish, I never felt connected to it. I didnÅt understand this angry God that was jealous and spiteful, and much to my mothers disappointment, I found it hard connecting to the religious and spiritual side of Judaism. The difficulty for me was that I felt I was a spiritual being without a home. I felt that there was so much more out there than just the everyday daily experience, and by the time I reached middle school I was searching for other faiths to help me gain some understanding, and connection to a world that was out there, but I just couldnÅt see yet. I dabbled in astrology, Wicca, and Tarot, before finally finding Buddhism in high school. I felt so drawn to Buddhism because Karma and reincarnation always just made sense to me naturally, even before I knew there was a name for it. I loved the fact that I felt I could connect to Buddhism as a spirituality and a way of life, rather than viewing it as a religion. I felt strangely at home within the teachings, and the Dalai Lama preaching peace, became my new personal hero. Looking back, I understand that I was so fortunate to have had the karma to feel connected to Buddhism. Today, I am just as grateful, if not more so, to have had the karma to have met Lama Norlha, and been introduced and welcomed by the community of Kagyu Thubten Choling. I had been struggling for some time especially after graduating from college with this innate and persistent desire to want to devote my life to helping others. I tried doing this the conventional way getting a job as a community organizer to help fight social and economic inequality, then traveling to volunteer abroad in three different countries doing various humanitarian work, and then getting a job as a youth counselor. The desire to help people also spurred me to go back to school, and here I am only three months away from obtaining a masters degree in social work. But I also understand that if I really want to help people, and if I really want to translate my aspiration to help others into actual meaningful action, I need to do the next three-year retreat. Practicing Buddhism over the years has helped me beyond words, learning to deal with myself and bringing awareness to how I have, and continue to deal with others. I have taken all the standard steps to spend a career devoted to working in social service agencies helping others, but I feel like I would be little use to anyone without the knowledge and wisdom I know I can only gain by doing a three-year retreat. I feel very connected to Lama Norlha and blessed that he has told me I should be on what has been said to be potentially the last retreat he will give in this lifetime, and I know that this is what I need to do for myself and for others, and this is the time to do it.
I was beyond fortunate to have participated in the last three-year retreat from November 2011- May 2015, and understand what a rare and precious opportunity it is to take time from the busyness of our lives, and enter seclusion devoting our time and energy to practicing the Dharma for the sake of ourselves, and most importantly for the benefit of all sentient beings.
IÃve heard a common saying about three-year retreat programs, that you will learn the practices in the first retreat, but it takes a second one to finally be able to practice them! This resonates strongly with me, and although I sincerely tried my best with each practice, many times during retreat I felt I was just trying to survive. I learned a lot through that journey, and donÃt think I could have done it any other way, nor do I have regrets. However, I am in a different place this time around, and have a clearer understanding of how to work with myself, including the games I play to make the most of the precious opportunity in retreat. With careful thought, and consideration I believe that entering the next retreat is the best thing I can do for myself, my family, my Dharma center, Lama Norlha Rinpoche, and hopefully all sentient beings!
After graduating college, and volunteering internationally, and throughout working on my Masters for Social Work, I felt so strongly right down to the core of my bones that all I wanted to do was just help people. Even though I knew I wanted to be in the service of helping others, I never knew exactly how to do it, and any internship or job never felt like it would be enough, or of any long term benefit to others. Finding myself on the Dharma path, and entering into retreat was the first time I felt I could take a breath, that I had finally found what was missing. Sometimes in retreat I would shed tears of happiness for doing something so meaningful, and hopefully even beneficial to others. Retreat was by no means easy, and probably my most challenging undertaking, but for all the obstacles it was that much more rewarding. I really tried to force myself to take all the difficulties that would arise, and apply them to the path. I am indescribably lucky that my karma ripened for me to be under the wing of Lama Norlha Rinpoche as he guided me, and all my samsaric issues along that journey.
Since graduating retreat I have had the pleasure of working with the retreat caretaker formatting our pre- retreat program, and feel that I can continue to be of service to them while in retreat. I was fortunate enough to have a Ãsecond-timerà in my retreat, and it was helpful to have someone on the inside that understood the scope of retreat, and how meaningful it is despite difficulties that arise.
I still feel to the depth of my bones that I just want to help others, and be a good person, and I know now that the only way for me to truly do this is to once again devote myself to intensive practice under the guidance of a realized master, and to do the next three-year retreat program here at Kagyu Thubten Choling.
ASPIRATION TO DO THE RETREAT
My beloved guru, Khenpo Karthar Rinpoche, says that we have to repeat the refuge prayer many times as we can, thus the imprint of benefit others get stronger in our mind stream. I do not recall for how long I have been reciting the refuge prayer but the phrase Ãto achieve enlightenment for the benefit of othersà had become more than just words. It had empowered me with the necessary confidence to commit myself in this spiritual journey.
This is the underlying idea of my motivation to do the three-years retreat at Karme Ling. Therefore, through the purification, accumulation and blessings of the practices done in the retreat I aspire to heal myself from self Ãcenteredness. In this way, I will be able to generate pure compassion to serve others with genuine kindness regardless the conditions we live in.
REASONS TO DO THE RETREAT
The main reasons to do the retreat are summarized in the words of Dreshung Rinpoche: ÃAbandon unwholesome actions. Perform as much wholesome action as you can and learn to control your own mindÃ. It is my understanding that the retreat experience will provide the proper conditions to live in accordance with these words.
After several years of assisting to Dharma teachings and reading books on the topic, there was a point in the path where I wanted to put the theory into practice and to really merge daily life with Dharma. I also felt a need to deepen my practice in order to observe the mind as it is at all times. Thus, I started asking myself: What are the options to go deeper into the practice? What do I need to do in order to really go beyond dualist view and generate genuine compassion? Since most of the literature has to do with extensive practice, I conclude that I should go into retreat.
Given the fact that I do not have a family of my own and my parents are in good health, in 2013, I decided to do the Chenrezig Retreat offered by Karma Triyana Dharmachackra Monastery in New York. During that time, I learned about the benefits, particular practices and the importance of the three-years retreat within the Karma Kagyu linage. Soon, I ascertained I wanted to tame and train the mind in the different skillful means that are offered in this special retreat.
Afterwards, I spent a year thinking about my present conditions and how does Dharma practice fits into it. I resolved that the only way to transform daily life into Dharma is to train the mind strenuously. Thus, it is imperative to retire from worldly habits for a while. For me, this meant that I should go into long retreat because it offers the appropriate conditions and support to push the practice further and truly tame the mind for the benefit of all.
The seed for my desire to go to retreat was planted in my heart by Khenpo Karthar Rinpoche since 1997 when listening to his teachings on the Boddhisattva's way of life. Rinpoche has been a source of inspiration for me from the very first teaching I received from him.He inspired me to become a Bodhisattva for the benefit of all sentient beings. His always present love and generosity toward all those who come in contact with him, shows me that the Buddhist practice brings the desired results when the practitioner dedicates his or her life to the practice of the Dharma. My desire to go to retreat further developed when I practiced Mahamudra two hours a day for the first year of our Mahamudra retreat with Tai Situ Rinpoche in 1998-1999. This beautiful commitment increased my desire to be in a longer retreat, a three year retreat at Karme Ling.
I aspire to become someone like Khenpo Karthar Rinpoche, one who devotes his life to the Dharma for the welfare of others. This will not happen with a two hour a day practice. I realized that the best way to start to walk that path is by having the right conditions, so I can focus all of my time and efforts to the practice of Dharma. The busy life of a regular profession does not provide the necessary conditions for me to practice in a way that will help me develop the skills to help others.
I wanted to go to retreat in year 2000 and the conditions were not there for me at that time. Right know, I am extremely fortunate to have the opportunity to go to retreat with Rinpoche, so I can develop my mind in the right direction under his guidance, as well as that of H. H. Karmapa. I have been accepted by Rinpoche (I have been accepted and preparing for retreat since the winter of 2009) and received H. H. Karmapa's blessings for retreat. I have all the right conditions as well as my deep and genuine desire to go to retreat for the benefit of all sentient beings. This is what I understand to be a perfect human birth, one I cannot waste and want to use to achieve its goal for the benefit of others.
I would be very blessed if you consider me as a candidate to be sponsored for retreat at Karme Ling starting September 2012.
Yours in the Dharma,
Angela
My aspiration is to enter this retreat, in order to have the opportunity to engage in the Karma Kagyu's advanced meditation techniques. This retreat will allow me to exclusively engage in these practices with the hopes of making progress on the path to liberation for the benefit of all sentient beings.
This retreat has been structured by Khenpo Karthar Rinpoche. This structure has been used around the world, in Karma Kagyu retreats, and this retreat is therefore one of the best places to practice these techniques. Khenpo Karthar Rinpoche is one of the most eminent teachers in the world, as well as an accomplished practitioner. This retreat would allow me to learn advanced Karma Kagyu practices from him and his students.
Khenpo Karthar Rinpoche recommended that I think about going into this retreat, and after considerable thought, I agreed. In honor of his recommendation, and in honor of his status as teacher and guide, I have made the aspiration to do this retreat.
Upon completion of the retreat, and with the approval of my teachers, I will be able to share Dharma instructions with beginning practitioners. I will also be able to offer support to those who are troubled, or suffering fear and apprehension in states of illness and death. My aspiration is to help those who need it, while connecting them with the Dharma as it continues to emerge in the West. +
My aspiration to do a three-year retreat under the tutelage of Khenpo karthar Rinpoche is truly sincere, genuine and compassionate. As a child I lived through what I believed were difficult times, with an absent father and a teenage mother who was unprepared to handle the responsibilities of being a mother, add to that extended family members who cared more about material things than helping out their own. I was filled with immense anger and rage for 30 years of my life everyday slipping farther down into darkness, it wasnÃt until a dharma miracle happened. I had no previous interest in religion or spirituality so Buddhism wasnÃt something I even ever thought about until a classmate shared a story at lunch about Karma. After hearing what she said at that very second, like lighting, everything I ever held true was suddenly easier to bear. All my anger and my rage melted away, almost like turning on a light switch in a darkroom. I had to find out what karma and Buddhism was and why it meant so much to me without knowing a thing about it. So I went out seeking various Buddhist centers, none felt right until I came across KTC. There I was welcomed with great compassion by everyone and was able to have all my questions answered, it instantly felt like home. I have been blessed with great karma to come in contact with my Lama, whoÃs teachings and advice helped to build a strong foundation of devotion, and through my Lama I have had the honor to meet and interview with my teacher Khenpo Karthar Rinpoche. From the time I received refuge, Bodhisattva vow and completed Ngondro, I had been fortunate to be free from obstacles and obscurations. I have vowed to give my life for the three jewels, making love and compassion my form of foundational practice, to better myself for others and placing them first above all. Everything I do now until my death is for the Three Jewels, to follow in the footsteps of my teacher examples. I have been training intensely in both philosophical and physical dharma to better prepare for this journey. I believe completely that entering retreat will give me the tools to benefit countless beings. I have even received the blessing from our Guru His Holiness the 17th Gyalwang Karamapa on recent visit to our center in Chicago. I have read and heard stories about pervious Bodhisattvas, and on their accomplishments, I take these stories as a truth about how one person with right motivation and proper training can liberate countless beings in all six realms. I am willing to endure infinite kalpas of suffering for all my mothers in samara, I had made this unbreakable promise to all the BuddhaÃs and Bodhisattvas to always be the shepherd, to never abandon any being, stay persistent and diligent in my training. I would be an excellent candidate for any financial assistances, my determination meets no bound, already accepted into the three-year retreat I have the blessing from both my teacher and His Holiness, I am confident that I exemplify a Bodhisattva in training. I ask to be seriously considered for any assistance, which would go towards my retreat.
Since I was young I have often wondered why things are the way they are. In my 20’s I decided to travel the world to search for what I felt was a missing link.. But it was only when I came across Buddhism that I knew that this was absolutely beyond a shadow of a doubt my path and way. When I met His Holiness Karmapa my faith increased dramatically. I looked upon him and I just had this inner knowing that he was a truly totally awakened Guru. My connection with Tai Situ Rinpoche is probably the most precious thing in my life. I only want to follow his way, to become as he is. At this stage of my life I have no interest in anything other than the dharma and I have often wished that a time would come when I could just practice the dharma every single day in a retreat setting. I wish to do the coming retreat in order to purify my mind. Through this purification I wish to reach a stage were I can genuinely benefit beings in this very life. I wish to do this retreat because I can see no other possible way to progress along the path, or to better myself for the benefit of all. I feel I have benefited so much from my previous retreats, but I have never felt that they have been long enough. I feel that all events in my life have taken me to this moment where I am fortunate enough to have the blessing of my teachers to undertake a retreat such as this. This blessing is probably the greatest gift I have ever received. I need this scholarship because I would be in a very difficult situation without it. At Karmeling they have allowed me to pay 2 thirds of the retreat cost at the end of the retreat, and I have been praying for a miracle. With the GBP rate having fallen so much and the additional expenses being more than I had previously thought I find myself in a difficult position. I pray that I will be able to complete my retreat without any financial difficulty and that I will be able to receive a scholarship to cover a portion of my retreat costs. My aspiration is to complete at least one three-year retreat in this life. My aspiration is that I would be able to genuinely benefit beings in this life. I did spend time organizing spiritual retreats and also facilitating a few of these retreats, but through this work I saw clearly that my mind is not pure enough to truly benefit beings. I realized that I need to practice so much more before I can genuinely be of benefit to others. I believe this retreat will help me become a better person. I believe this retreat is the most important undertaking in my whole life, and the greatest gift I have ever received.
I experience my aspiration to do retreat as a sense of energy and joy in my body that is hard to put into words. Since I made the decision to do the retreat in January, it has been the guiding focus of each day, and my aspiration to do it has only increased. I feel that through Ngöndro and training at KTD, doors have been opening to me in my own heart and practice, and in the world around me. I have never felt more focused and engaged in my practice. And overall, I feel more available to others than I have ever been in my life.
On another level, the reason I want to do retreat is the same as why I want to devote my life to practicing the Buddhadharma. Having now studied the dharma for many years, I have experienced for myself that it works, and this is the strongest motivation. I can see how it has helped me become a more joyful and loving human being. And I also know I have a long way to go. Through practice, the suffering of others has also become so much more apparent and directly felt than before, and helping relieve their suffering is now the even greater motivation. Studying environmental science in college I felt completely depressed, like there was nothing I could really do to help the situation. Now, when I hear the news and experience the suffering of others, I donÃt feel this same sense of complete despair. This is because I know that even when there is no visible way to help, I can practice and dedicate the merit of everything I do to relieving their suffering. I also feel confident that the more I continue to point the finger back at myself and open my heart through practice, the more I will be able to respond to and help others.
My aspiration to do a long retreat started when I was doing monthly week-long silent meditation intensives (sesshin) over the three-and-a-half years I trained at Zen Mountain Monastery. Even though I was living in a monastic environment full-time, and often doing zazen at least five hours a day on Ãregularà days, I experienced sesshin as profound gift and refuge. The structure, rigor, sitting, silence, liturgy, one-on-one teacher interviews, and communal effort of the group practice were a tremendous support, as well as challenge. There was nowhere to escape my thoughts and uncomfortable feelings. I couldnÃt point the finger anywhere except back at myself, which I learned was the greatest gift I had ever been given. While I know it is possible to make progress on the path in a more normal setting, the conditions of sesshin made it much easier. In the same way, I feel that the conditions of three-year retreat are the best possible for practice and training that I can imagine.
Another reason I want to do three-year retreat at Karme Ling is to get proper training as a nun in the Karma Kagyu lineage. In some ways, I feel like a child right now in my monastic life. While I basically lived as a monastic at ZMM, and have a sense of what it means to live as a monastic, I donÃt yet know the forms and the main practices of the lineage I am now a part of. There is no better way to learn the forms, rituals, and practices of this lineage than to do three-year retreat. And for this reason, I feel strongly motivated to do it. Having the proper training, I feel I will be able to be more helpful to the community and to others as a nun.
Finally, another reason I want to retreat at Karme Ling is that I feel a strong connection with the Kagyu lineage, and have deep trust in Khenpo Khartar Rinpoche, Lama Lodro Lhamo, and the KTD staff. I also feel a very strong connection with His Holiness 17th Karmapa. I feel very good about surrendering myself to their guidance.
While I am fairly new to the Tibetan Buddhist tradition, I feel that I have a strong foundation in Buddhist training and study that has prepared me to embark on this three-year retreat. I think that completing this retreat will help me be of benefit to others in this lifetime, and I sincerely hope you will consider my application for financial support. Thank you.
When I entered my first retreat, I did not have a clear idea of what I wanted to achieve. From the moment I heard about the three-year retreat, I spontaneously knew I wanted to do it. I didnÃt contemplate my aspirations very much, but regardless had a strong resolve to successfully complete retreat. During my time at Karme Ling, I repeatedly examined my motivation for practice, and developed a clear understanding of why I want to be in retreat. ItÃs clear to me that there are countless beings suffering right now. This suffering isnÃt limited to the hell realms and preta realms, it is in every realm. Suffering exists in very intense, obvious forms as well as subtle forms which can be overlooked. Even beings that have every material comfort they could need or want still have mental suffering. The more aware I become of my own mind, the more I understand that the suffering we experience is deeply set, pervading even the subtlest aspects of our minds. I have become very aware of this suffering, and although it can be overwhelming to imagine it is also what motivates me to practice. This brings me a lot of sadness, and I aspire that every being be free from even the slightest suffering.
In contrast to this suffering, I also have complete faith that every being is pure in nature. Upon examining my kleshas and fixations, I have developed the faith that even the dirtiest or meanest thoughts are rooted in something pure. Our experience of suffering is truly nothing other than a misconception or delusion about the nature of reality. Understanding this purity is what makes it possible for beings to completely transcend suffering and be of benefit to others. I have faith that my teachers have reached a certainty about the nature of reality, and I see how much they are able to help others. I aspire to be like my teachers. My goal in attending retreat is to reach a definite understanding of the nature of reality so I can help free all beings from suffering.
I know that seeing the nature of mind can take many years of practice and great diligence, so I want to practice as much as I can. Right now I am young and in good health, and Khenpo Karthar Rinpoche has given me the opportunity to do a second three-year retreat. Since there is no certainty that I will be able to do retreat again in the future, I would like to take advantage of this opportunity while I have it. I believe that practicing in retreat is a very quick path, and one that I find enjoyable and engaging. Dharma practice has become my life; it is the only thing I want to do. The most important thing to me is developing compassion, devotion, and the insight necessary to bring benefit to others. I am attending retreat in order to develop those qualities as much as I possibly can.
Now I have completed two three-year retreats and am about to begin a third. I feel great benefit comes from repeating the threeyear
retreat, and believe that one more retreat is important for my spiritual path.
I am learning to accept that spiritual progress takes time. Our obscurations and karmic habits have been accumulating over
countless lifetimes. For an ordinary people like myself, three, six, or nine years of retreat are a very small amount of time to try to
purify lifetimes of karma. I am encouraged by the progress I have made but see that I need to keep practicing in isolation. Maturity
and stability in meditation take time, effort and non-distraction. I worked hard in my first two retreats and do not regret how I spent
my time, but honestly I know that I need more practice before I can be of benefit to others.
As for my personal aims in doing this retreat, I want to be able to truly serve others. When I first met HH Karmapa, I felt a longing to
serve him and his lineage. The idea of not being able to assist in his activity brings me sadness. Also, Khenpo Karthar Rinpoche
has been extremely kind to me. He has given me such precious dharma opportunities in this life and set me on a virtuous path. I
feel a great deal of gratitude and commitment to Khenpo Rinpoche because of this, and am happy to follow his command. He has
asked me to do a third retreat, and I have no doubt that he knows what is best.
Along with serving my teachers, I want to be of service to all beings. What is most impressive to me about observing my teachers is
how completely selfless they are. Holy beings such as the Gyalwang Karmapa and Khenpo Rinpoche never put their own wellbeing
before anotherâs well-being. Although I cultivate compassion and try to serve others, there is a huge gap between my spiritual
state and that of my teachers. In order to be of service to others, one has to truly develop selflessness. I know how deeply my
teachers have touched me through their selfless care and attention. I cannot possibly repay their kindness but I can strive to follow
their example. Most of all, my goal in this retreat is to diminish my own self-fixation, and increase my compassion and devotion as
much as possible.
Staying at KTD, I meet many new people all the time. They tell me their stories and open up to me, hoping I can help them. But the
only thing I can do is show them some kindness and say prayers. I do not have any genuine ability to help, and that weighs heavily
on me. I am returning to retreat so that in the future, when someone asks for my help, I can actually help them.
