Property:Letterofmotivation
From Tsadra Foundation Advanced Contemplative Scholarships
This is a property of type Text.
2
I am writing this while in retreat, my first retreat and my introduction to Vajrayana Buddhism.
I have far exceeded my expectations of what is possible. I would like to continue making progress with my mind and continue to do my best to benefit as many beings as possible, doing the next retreat is the best way to make both happen. I sometimes wish I could go back in time and start the retreat with the mind I have now, since this is not possible I have the aspiration to do the next retreat.
The best decision I have ever made was to come do the retreat, I feel I have gotten my life back, I now have direction and purpose, two things that were missing from my life. I hope I am able to repay Rinpoche's kindness, two ways I try to do this is by practicing with the best of my ability and being kind and compassionate to all the beings around me.
The start of the retreat was extremely difficult, everything was so alien and new to me, but with perseverance, dedication and renunciation, I now feel at home and extremely happy at the prospect of doing another 3 year retreat at GP. My mind has changed so much, I do not recognise the person who came here.
I had a very comfortable life before the retreat, good job, my own apartment in a hip neighborhood, great friends but I was hollow inside, always needing external objects to make me happy, be it something to watch, something to drink, eat, somewhere to go, someone to meet, it’s endless. Living like this is not sustainable, reflecting back I think deep down I knew this and that’s why I was able to leave my regular mundane life in pursuit of Dharma. The way I am now, I can just sit by myself and enjoy my own company.
I was so fresh and new to Dharma, I feel i was not fully able to appreciate some of the earlier practices, for example I remember being quite depressed and fearful when contemplating the defects of samsara especially the hell realms, if i was to do the same practice now, the fear and depression will be replaced by compassion and inspiration/motivation to practice. During refuge and bodhicitta I could not let go of the fact that my visualisations were not super HD. Each step of the way I have let go of expectations, rigidity and tightness. I now understand the keys to fruitful practice is a relaxed and calm mind, free of expectations.
I feel I am more kind and compassionate towards others because I have tried to develop a kind and compassionate attitude towards myself. I am much more gentle with myself, for the first time in my life I have a healthy relationship with myself.
Rinpoche has been very kind in sending two masters who are linked to the monastery. In Dec 2022, Khabje Khenpo arrived, he taught me the ABC’s of dharma, that the most important thing is to be a decent person. Khabje Khenpo also helped me to connect with my Indian heritage, something I had not embraced having been born and raised in the UK. I feel more connected than ever to my Indian roots, when the time is right I would love to go on a pilgrimage to the holy sites.
The second master that arrived was Tulku Pasang, in Jan 2025, he came to teach the group Tummo. I was very fortunate I had the opportunity to film him practicing and then ask him questions about the mind, his answers have instilled a confidence that has never left.
Thank you for benefitting so many beings, thank you for taking the time to read my application.
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Please note I have asked Heidi Koppl to write my letter of recommendation because I have been away for so long and she is in the retreat boundary, however since she is a Dharma friend, if her letter is not acceptable please let me know so I can find a replacement.
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If I put it simply, doing a three-year retreat is the most logical thing to do in my eyes. It is the most natural way to continue my practice. My life and mindset is progressively changing a lot just by practicing and studying outside of a closed retreat, and I believe being able to continue my practice under the guidance of two retreat masters I already know and admire, would be incredibly beneficial. Doing the retreat in Karme Ling specifically and being able to follow in the footsteps of Lama Sangye, who has become an incredibly important and inspirational person to me, and Lama Zangmo, whom I look up to, would be an incredible opportunity. In the future, I aspire to make enough progress in my personal practice, that I can help others on their own path. I also want to help Lama Sangye, who has built an incredible active Dharma center in a small conservative country in Eastern Europe, because I truly believe he is someone worth following and the center and community are more than worth keeping alive. Lama Sangye has been the only teacher in the center since it started, and as he ages, he will need more and more help. I want to be that helping hand not just for him, but for anyone who ever comes to our center. I want to be able to help people make progress the same way Lama Sangye helped me. I believe doing a three-year retreat is the most effective way of quickly and steadily furthering my practice in the right direction, and pushing me further for that ultimate goal of achieving enlightenment. +
To the Tsadra Foundation Scholarship Committee,
With gratitude for the outstanding contributions to Western contemplative practices this institution has offered, I write to share my heartfelt wish to join the upcoming 3-year retreat at Gomde Pyrenees under the guidance of my teacher, Chokyi Nyima Rinpoche.
Since a young age, I have felt the call for spiritual practice. In one sense, I was moved by my own personal suffering, and the unnecessary suffering I felt permeated the world. In another sense, I was filled with deep curiosity—I felt there must be more to the ordinary way of seeing life and perceiving reality. This led me to begin meditation practice, at first through books and videos, and later through practicing zazen in the Sōtō Zen-shū tradition. I attended my first retreat at 13 years old, which gave me a taste of practice that had everlasting effects.
After discovering Ka-Nying Shedrub Ling in 2016 at 19 years old and meeting my teachers—Chokyi Nyima Rinpoche, Phakchok Rinpoche, and Chokling Rinpoche—this experience deeply touched and transformed me. I decided to devote myself full-time to the study and practice of Buddhism, joining RYI and focusing on the Tibetan language, as I felt it could be one of the best ways to contribute to Dharma, especially in Brazil, where we don't have many Tibetan translators.
It was also during this time that I came to know about the existence of three-year retreats through my friendship with previous retreatants and hearing their experiences. From then, I gave rise to the deep aspiration to be able to join one as well. Although aware of impermanence, my goals became clear: to complete my studies at RYI, master the Tibetan language, and engage in a long retreat afterwards.
Now the conditions for this aspiration to be fulfilled are coming together. As I stand to finish over 7 years of study, while still young but having acquired more maturity in my understanding of the Dharma, while my parents are still healthy enough to not need my care, and while purposefully not having immersed myself in marriage and having children, I feel this is the most beneficial and meaningful path I could engage in at this moment—for both myself and others. Following Gampopa's aspiration, I feel my mind has turned towards the Dharma, and now I want to be fully dedicated that it may truly become the path, that it may clear away confusion, dawning as wisdom. There is nothing I long more than to tame this mind and recognize its nature, expanding the qualities of compassion and love.
With all this in mind, I hope that through this retreat I may become more able to benefit others, even if in a small way, in whatever manner possible, or at least cut through as many self-centered habits that can be harmful to any being.
I deeply appreciate the opportunity that is being offered and your time in considering this application.
Victor Algeri Roithmann
I've just completed the 2022-2025 3-year retreat at Thubten Choling. It was such a profound and meaningful experience for me... life changing, really. We learned so many practices in the retreat yet I feel I'm only scratching the surface and I'd like to continue to develop my practice with more retreat. Lama Alan Wallace has been a big inspiration for me since the beginning of my journey and CCR's vision is one that resonates with me deeply. Crestone has already been a home for me for years. It seems like an auspicious time and space to continue my retreat practice. +
During the time directly before my partners death at age 43, we had both aspired to go deeper into dharma practice and study after our child was born. We were even considering raising our first child in a buddhist retreat style community setting. I lost my child shortly after the death of my partner of 8 yrs, and that shattered my connection with reality as I knew it and exposed me deeply to the experiential concept of impermanence and suffering far more than I had been exposed to it before. I led a life before that point searching for tools to heal my body from numerous health conditions, tumors, endometriosis, lung disease and liver ailments that I had been suffering from and designed a school with my partners help to try and share meaningful advice and herbal knowledge to those underpriveleged or who weren't able to access higher levels of medicinal care in the alternative medicine sphere. Though my life was already dedicated to serving community at the time of my partners death, the mind rending screams that came out of me during the time of my partners passing, were underlying a silent calm stillness that supported me thru the process of cremating and funeral preparations for my spouse. The notion that my mind couldn't completely shatter and that there was truly a deeper buddha nature within not only myself, but all sentient beings.. was merely conceptual jargon and didn't seem very factual up until that experience. The years that followed that experience were frought with poor decisions and attachment to comfort through seeking closeness with people who did not have my best interests at heart and also I rushed into my previous patterns of unhealthy behavior: smoking tobacco, promiscuity... etc that did not only fail to fulfill me in any way, but made my waking reality like a living hell from which there was no permanent or even temporarily long lasting escape. I was plunged into deeper levels of desperation and deep longing to connect with my partner who had passed away and brought to joy whenever something of beauty came into my sphere of consciousness, be it a bird, flower or butterfly.. I started to use that longing to connect with the compassion and wisdom aspects of my own mind, slowly ad surely... it helped lead me out of depression and away from harmful behaviors and within a few years, I couldn't say that I was depressed any longer. This guiding process came from my first root guru, Lama Mike Crowley, who shared a connection with my partner somehow and felt that they knew of them from Wales. Even though my partner had never physically been to Wales, I knew that this connectedness was not accidental because I felt chills when he looked at my partners photo and seemed to fondly recognize them (pronouns: they/them). Futhermore, my late partner was a big fan of his book called "Secret Drugs of Buddhism" as me and my partner worked with some entheogens for the purpose of healing sexual trauma and depression before coming to dharma. On one fateful night we stayed up till 3am reading Amitabhas Pure Land Sutra and it was so beautiful we made reading sutras a part of our weekly spiritual practice, (over 7 yrs ago now). My first guru would give me Shamata instruction and then leave me to practice for a few months or a year and then give further instructions for visualization.. around 2023 he announced I was ready to take my Bodhisattva Vows and I did so happily. That same year I completed my first Niguma Yoga retreat with Yangsi Kalu Rinpoche and I had felt I had made a new dharma friend not knowing the scale and previous life history of the 1st Kalu Rinpoche. I immediately fell in love with Niguma Yoga and the following year in 2024 I made a point to take another 4 day retreat with Kalu Rinpoche to study Niguma Yoga. After that life changing experience I knew for sure that I had to go deeper in to my Shangpa Kagyud practices. The next events I attended were Mahakala with Kalu Rinpoche and Niguma Yoga that was held at Ser Cho Ling. That was the day at Ser Cho Ling I had the pleasure of meeting my primary Guru, Wangchen Rinpoche. He greeted me with a deeply knowing look of recognition and I knew from that time on I would be spending a lot of time at Ser Cho Ling. I then signed up for my first Nyungne in 2024 and practiced diligently with Wangchen Rinpoche and started Ngondro Simultaneously. After a year, I was encouraged that I would make a good nun by Wangchen Rinpoche and I took my vows with his Holiness Tai Situ Rinpoche in March on March 26th in 2025. That was one of the most life chaning journeys I had ever had... since then Wangchen Rinpoche suggested I get ready immediately for three year retreat.
In brief, I deeply believe that love and wisdom are the most precious things in this world, and that the best way I can increase their presence in myself and others is to participate in this three-year retreat. Seeing my teachers Kyabje Chokyi Nyima Rinpoche, Phakchok Rinpoche, and many other inspiring practitioners operate with uninterrupted, unbiased compassion has filled my heart with inspiration and reverence time and time again, and given me the confidence that stable realization of mind’s nature is truly possible. When I reflect on how my relationship with them has affected me, I see that even their seemingly small comments in passing have had major impacts on my mind’s habits from moment to moment. One or two sentences from them, or even just a glance in my direction, have planted seeds of kindness and dignity in my experience while gently exposing my neuroses, empowering me to work with them more honestly and directly than before.
Their meditation teachings have allowed me to slowly make friends with my mind, see others with more love and respect, let go, be more honest, and genuinely wish to benefit others. Even my relationship with my family has become more harmonious and genuine as a result of their teachings and blessing. No one has affected my life in a more pervasive and wholesome way than my kind teachers. I see this same beneficial activity occurring in everyone else who connects repeatedly with them and sincerely applies their instructions. The one thing that all of these teachers share is that they practice a tremendous amount, and most of them have spent years in retreat. So their profound qualities and ability to benefit others so deeply are a direct result of their sincere and diligent practice of Buddhadharma, and especially their realization of mind’s nature. It’s not just that they speak skillfully and eloquently. The very way they look at others, the way they sit, the way their eyes rest while they practice, are profound gateways to freedom and harmony for all those around them. Sometimes just being around them without saying anything has filled my heart with warmth. While I don’t expect to gain realization like these sublime beings during this short lifetime, I am confident that the best way to make progress on the path they’ve shown me is to participate in this three-year retreat.
Although I have no special qualities and do have many faults, the times I have felt my mind change the most positively have been in or after periods of retreat. Therefore, my sincere aspiration is that by doing this three-year retreat, I may reduce my selfish emotions, become less judgmental and neurotic, uncover the compassion and dignity inherent within myself, become familiar with the nature of mind, and gain the capacity to be of genuine service and benefit to others. I aspire that by doing this retreat, I may gain the capacity to uphold the authentic Buddhadharma by keeping its qualities and teachings as direct experience in my own heart, not just as words in my head. Most of all, I pray that by participating in this retreat, all the aspirations of the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, especially my beloved teachers, will be completely fulfilled, that all sentient beings everywhere may become totally free from suffering and all of its causes, and that we may all realize the great bliss of reality’s true nature. I promise that during this retreat, I will live harmoniously and lovingly with fellow retreatants, cultivate a sincere motivation of renunciation and bodhicitta, and do all of the practices to the best of my ability.
Two years ago, I moved back to the city of my childhood to be with my mother in her final years, and to integrate my early years with my current life. Gatineau, Quebec is a beautiful place, a sacred place to me, and a great place for Mahamdura practice.
My mother and I were both excited for this new chapter and our opportunity to spend more time together. However, within just seven months, my mother’s already fragile health quickly deteriorated, and she unexpectedly passed away. In the same week, I also received a cancer diagnosis that would require surgery and other treatment. The following year became a time of burying my mother, receiving medical treatment, and feeling constantly displaced.
That overall experience did what the teachings had been unable to do: vividly demonstrate impermanence, death, and the value of the teachings.
Now, without family responsibilities, and realizing that time is short (even with a great prognosis), I want to make the most of my remaining life and opportunities.
I recently asked about the possibility of joining the next cohort for the Sopa Choling 3-year retreat. However, there may not be another new cohort. Yet I have been accepted to join the current cohort in year 2 (Sept 2026).
Over the years, I have attended the Sopa Choling gate opening and closing ceremonies many times. This year, I attended the opening of the gate after year 1 (June 2025). During that time, I felt certain that this was right for me: This particular retreat was completely designed and supported by my guru Thrangu Rinpoche and Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche, whose sangha and teachings I have been living in for 25 years. I’m confident that following in the traditions of my teachers, I am doing the right thing. Since deciding to joining the retreat and my acceptance, many things have fallen into place, including comments made by the druppon during the gate opening that aligned with my earlier conversations with Thrangu Rinpoche, a dream about joining the retreat, and a sudden announcement of a Chakrasamvara empowerment within two weeks in Toronto (now completed) by Tulku Damcho Rinpoche (my guru’s appointee as a senior teacher).
I wish to dedicate this retreat to my mother, as well as “all mother sentient beings.” In many ways, I feel the retreat has already begun, and I am already looking for ways, in daily life, to genuinely translate my practice into better circumstances for others to live, to study, to realize the wisdom teachings of our lineage. I myself am ready to go more deeply in my practice than ever before.
My financial position, for the virtually first time in my life, allows me some financial stability. I am prepared to spend much of my savings on the retreat. However, if I were to do that, I would face completing retreat with a small financial cushion and the possibly of struggling to re-enter the workforce in my sixties. If I were to be fortunate enough to receive full or even partial grant funding, it would help me focus on the retreat with less concern for what comes after and re-enter the community with less financial strain. Therefore, I humbly ask for the support of the Tsadra Foundation.
I have pursued a career in academia that has led me to work as a college writing instructor at the University of Chicago for last 4 years. That job is currently being restructured, and I have decided to leave the academic career path rather than continuing to pursue work in the field of college writing instruction. My decision is primarily motivated by the fact that I have increasingly found the Dharma to be the only truly meaningful life pursuit, based on comparing the fruits of Dharma practice against those of worldly life over the last 20 years, as well as with my deepening appreciation of the Buddhist view. The opportunity to undertake this kind of intensive retreat under the guidance of Chokyi Nyima Rinpoche and Drupon Lama Tenzin Sangpo will only occur this once in my life, and it would be a tremendous mistake not to seize it. I will be 45 in October and have decided that I want to focus on practicing the Dharma over and above the pursuit of professional status in the second part of my life. This will place me in a more economically precarious position following the retreat, but I feel that it’s worth it. Support from the Tsadra Foundation would enable me to retain more personal savings for once I leave the retreat and need to find work again, in whatever labor market exists at that time, at around 50 years of age. I feel that both my worldly and Dharmic curriculum vitae demonstrate the seriousness and reliability with which I undertake and fulfill personal commitments. In my view, this makes me a worthwhile candidate for the Tsadra Foundation's financial support of my retreat.
My motivation to intensively practice the Dharma in a three-year retreat is fairly traditional: to make as much progress toward enlightenment as is possible for me within this lifetime, with the ultimate goal of establishing each and every sentient being in that state. Deciding to do a three-year retreat for a western lay practitioner requires serious “big picture” thinking about one’s life. Up until this point, I have had the fortune to encounter the Vajrayana Dharma, to meet and receive oral instructions from a qualified guru, and to spend several years attempting to apply them in practice. Suspending worldly activities and focusing single-mindedly on applying my guru’s instructions is the inevitable next step in this process. While I am wary of attempts to justify Dharma practice in terms of worldly social aims, I also see my growth as a Dharma practitioner as inseparable from developing my capacity to serve, protect, and benefit others. In terms of post-retreat employment, I would aspire to do some kind of social work aiding others in disadvantageous circumstances, such as those living in poverty, or the elderly and dying. But I also view this retreat as the beginning of a phase of my life in which Dharma practice is the primary aim. Support from the Tsadra Foundation would help me realize this goal.
As a sincere Buddhist practitioner, it feels counterintuitive to write about myself to secure funding for my retreat. However, guided by my Guru, Wangchen Rinpoche, I recognize that seeking this scholarship is a skillful means that could benefit all sentient beings if my retreat is successful. This understanding alone motivates me to apply.
I do not claim to know everything about the Dharma, but I have learned that receiving can also be a form of giving when guided by right view, and bodhicitta. This is the essence of my aspiration to undertake this three-year retreat. My practice has shown me that nothing in my life will be as beneficial—for myself or others—as understanding my own mind. No amount of wealth, fame, or family achievements could generate the karma needed to attain enlightenment for the benefit of all sentient beings. I understand this on a deeply personal level.
In this lifetime, I have lived many roles: recording artist, life coach, and business owner. If these experiences yielded anything of value, it was leading me to my Guru and authentic Buddha Dharma. Now, I have the opportunity to do something truly meaningful with my life. I feel that failing to seize this chance would be the greatest mistake I could make—and I have already made plenty of those.
When I met Rinpoche, I vowed that if my thirst for enlightenment remained as strong as it was after my first 25 Nyungne retreat, I would dedicate my life to practice after two years. Fortunately, I trusted this intuition rather than rushing in foolishly. After two years, I closed my business and moved to Ser Cho Ling. This significant step was only the beginning. Within a year, I traveled with Wangchen Rinpoche to India to take my Novice Monk vows under H.E. Tai Situ Rinpoche. Through these experiences, an unshakable conviction has grown within me, despite the modest sacrifices I have made. It is this same intuition that now guides me to undertake the three-year retreat—a ripening I could not stop even if I wished to.
It’s my sincere wish that you will consider this information when making your decision to accept my application for 3-Year Retreat. Nothing else in this world matters to me as much as fulfilling my Guru’s vision for me and completing my 3-year retreat.
With Warmest Wishes,
Yeshe Nyima
(Zameer Kurji)
To the respected retreat committee,
I am writing to express my sincere aspiration to participate in the upcoming three-year retreat. Although I first encountered Buddhism as a teenager, it was only about six years ago that this interest began to take root in a more stable and transformative way. Since then, my faith in the Dharma has steadily grown into a deeply anchored commitment.
In 2019, I had the great fortune of receiving teachings from Chökyi Nyima Rinpoche. One moment in particular left a lasting imprint on my heart. Rinpoche emphasized that truly understanding the Dharma requires learning Tibetan. I felt his words were spoken directly to me. Trusting him completely, I directed all my energy toward this goal. Since then, I have devoted myself to learning Tibetan language and classical Buddhist texts. My studies began with Śāntideva’s Bodhicaryāvatāra and gradually expanded to include works on Madhyamaka, Prajñāpāramitā, and the tantric path of indestructible wakefulness. What I discovered was not just the depth of Tibetan literature, but the profound clarity and beauty of the Dharma itself. Where I had once carried lingering doubts, study and reflection brought a quiet but unwavering confidence: the Dharma truly leaves no question unanswered.
More recently, I’ve begun to serve as a translator, sharing teachings, translating texts, and assisting teachers when possible. This has been deeply fulfilling. At the same time, it has revealed the limits of my own experience. No matter how sincere my intentions or how hard I study, I have come to realize that without a strong foundation in meditative practice and personal realization, it is difficult to convey the heart-meaning of the teachings. Textual understanding, while indispensable, cannot substitute for embodied insight.
It is this recognition that brings me to apply for the three-year retreat. My motivation is simple: I wish to deepen my understanding through direct experience, to soften the grip of afflictions, and to cultivate genuine bodhicitta and wisdom. I have no romantic notions about the retreat—it will be difficult—but I trust that it will be the most meaningful thing I can do with my life at this time. I don’t view this retreat as an endpoint, but as a step on a lifelong path of service and commitment to the Dharma.
In the long run, I hope to serve the sangha and all sentient beings through a combination of practice, study, and translation. Whether by helping make texts available in English, supporting teachers, or simply offering a grounded presence in a sangha, I want my life to be shaped by the Dharma and to offer whatever I can back to the world. I am ready to commit wholeheartedly to this path.
With gratitude and respect,
Olof Axelsson
A
During the time directly before my partners death at age 43, we had both aspired to go deeper into dharma practice and study after our child was born. We were even considering raising our first child in a buddhist retreat style community setting. I lost my child shortly after the death of my partner of 8 yrs, and that shattered my connection with reality as I knew it and exposed me deeply to the experiential concept of impermanence and suffering far more than I had been exposed to it before. I led a life before that point searching for tools to heal my body from numerous health conditions, tumors, endometriosis, lung disease and liver ailments that I had been suffering from and designed a school with my partners help to try and share meaningful advice and herbal knowledge to those underpriveleged or who weren't able to access higher levels of medicinal care in the alternative medicine sphere. Though my life was already dedicated to serving community at the time of my partners death, the mind rending screams that came out of me during the time of my partners passing, were underlying a silent calm stillness that supported me thru the process of cremating and funeral preparations for my spouse. The notion that my mind couldn't completely shatter and that there was truly a deeper buddha nature within not only myself, but all sentient beings.. was merely conceptual jargon and didn't seem very factual up until that experience. The years that followed that experience were frought with poor decisions and attachment to comfort through seeking closeness with people who did not have my best interests at heart and also I rushed into my previous patterns of unhealthy behavior: smoking tobacco, promiscuity... etc that did not only fail to fulfill me in any way, but made my waking reality like a living hell from which there was no permanent or even temporarily long lasting escape. I was plunged into deeper levels of desperation and deep longing to connect with my partner who had passed away and brought to joy whenever something of beauty came into my sphere of consciousness, be it a bird, flower or butterfly.. I started to use that longing to connect with the compassion and wisdom aspects of my own mind, slowly ad surely... it helped lead me out of depression and away from harmful behaviors and within a few years, I couldn't say that I was depressed any longer. This guiding process came from my first root guru, Lama Mike Crowley, who shared a connection with my partner somehow and felt that they knew of them from Wales. Even though my partner had never physically been to Wales, I knew that this connectedness was not accidental because I felt chills when he looked at my partners photo and seemed to fondly recognize them (pronouns: they/them). Futhermore, my late partner was a big fan of his book called "Secret Drugs of Buddhism" as me and my partner worked with some entheogens for the purpose of healing sexual trauma and depression before coming to dharma. On one fateful night we stayed up till 3am reading Amitabhas Pure Land Sutra and it was so beautiful we made reading sutras a part of our weekly spiritual practice, (over 7 yrs ago now). My first guru would give me Shamata instruction and then leave me to practice for a few months or a year and then give further instructions for visualization.. around 2023 he announced I was ready to take my Bodhisattva Vows and I did so happily. That same year I completed my first Niguma Yoga retreat with Yangsi Kalu Rinpoche and I had felt I had made a new dharma friend not knowing the scale and previous life history of the 1st Kalu Rinpoche. I immediately fell in love with Niguma Yoga and the following year in 2024 I made a point to take another 4 day retreat with Kalu Rinpoche to study Niguma Yoga. After that life changing experience I knew for sure that I had to go deeper in to my Shangpa Kagyud practices. The next events I attended were Mahakala with Kalu Rinpoche and Niguma Yoga that was held at Ser Cho Ling. That was the day at Ser Cho Ling I had the pleasure of meeting my primary Guru, Wangchen Rinpoche. He greeted me with a deeply knowing look of recognition and I knew from that time on I would be spending a lot of time at Ser Cho Ling. I then signed up for my first Nyungne in 2024 and practiced diligently with Wangchen Rinpoche and started Ngondro Simultaneously. After a year, I was encouraged that I would make a good nun by Wangchen Rinpoche and I took my vows with his Holiness Tai Situ Rinpoche in March on March 26th in 2025. That was one of the most life chaning journeys I had ever had... since then Wangchen Rinpoche suggested I get ready immediately for three year retreat.
It is rare to have both time and resources available to perform a long retreat. In the spring of 2018 I'll be in a unique position: I will have just graduated with a Masters in Divinity from Harvard, but will not yet have begun applying to doctoral programs. During this in-between time, I will have a chance to take time off to perform a three year retreat. The RV trailer at my family's house provides a comfortable place to do retreat while keeping the cost to an absolute minimum. I might not have another opportunity like it in this lifetime. I'm mindful of the strain my presence puts on my family's resources, and I wouldn't be able to do this retreat without some outside support coming in to help alleviate the pressure on my family.
As to my aspirations à I have taken Sakya Trizin as my primary role model. I cannot realistically expect to become him, but I want to understand some of what he understands, experience some of what he has experienced, to see some of what sees. He indicates that the way to accomplish this is by practicing the way he practiced à following in his footsteps and the footsteps of his gurus and ultimately Lord Buddha. I have realistic expectations for what I can accomplish à which might some day be serving a small group of practitioners somewhere in San Francisco or New York or wherever I end up, or taking my insights into the classroom. While I don't expect I will ever be anyone other than myself, I can serve as a role model to others through my example just like Sakya Trizin does for me.
I also feel enormously inspired by the togdens of Khampagar Monastery in Tashi Jong, India, who dedicate their entire lives to solitary retreat. I've spoken with Janet Gyatso at HDS about the school's Buddhist Ministry Initiative and what Ãbuddhist ministryà means; she says they question (open-endedly) whether or not practitioners benefit anyone else by spending their lives in retreat à and I believe they do. I think the best way to guide others to dharma is to live it by example and achieve the results of practice so that others can see what is possible and feel attracted, in turn, to what you represent to them (and through you, drawn towards your guru and all the gurus of your lineage and Buddha himself). I've been surprised in recent years at how many of my dharma friends have been inspired by me à to take major practice commitments, for example, or become vegetarian à without me trying in any way to help or guide them but just by being myself and an open and honest friend.
This retreat would give me the necessary time and space to take my practice to a deeper level, and to thus continue to lead as an example. It would also advance my understanding of many of the religious texts that I work with, connecting sacred history with personal experience, and giving me a more subtle and multidimensional lens into the religious narratives I will continue studying. I would love to be able to share my realizations and accomplishments and energies with anyone who will benefit from them, and I think the best way to prepare for that is to continue cultivating the seeds my guru has planted through his teachings and initiations in the garden of intensive solitary practice. Tsadra's support would be instrumental in making this possible.
I am writing this while in retreat, my first retreat and my introduction to Vajrayana Buddhism.
I have far exceeded my expectations of what is possible. I would like to continue making progress with my mind and continue to do my best to benefit as many beings as possible, doing the next retreat is the best way to make both happen. I sometimes wish I could go back in time and start the retreat with the mind I have now, since this is not possible I have the aspiration to do the next retreat.
The best decision I have ever made was to come do the retreat, I feel I have gotten my life back, I now have direction and purpose, two things that were missing from my life. I hope I am able to repay Rinpoche's kindness, two ways I try to do this is by practicing with the best of my ability and being kind and compassionate to all the beings around me.
The start of the retreat was extremely difficult, everything was so alien and new to me, but with perseverance, dedication and renunciation, I now feel at home and extremely happy at the prospect of doing another 3 year retreat at GP. My mind has changed so much, I do not recognise the person who came here.
I had a very comfortable life before the retreat, good job, my own apartment in a hip neighborhood, great friends but I was hollow inside, always needing external objects to make me happy, be it something to watch, something to drink, eat, somewhere to go, someone to meet, it’s endless. Living like this is not sustainable, reflecting back I think deep down I knew this and that’s why I was able to leave my regular mundane life in pursuit of Dharma. The way I am now, I can just sit by myself and enjoy my own company.
I was so fresh and new to Dharma, I feel i was not fully able to appreciate some of the earlier practices, for example I remember being quite depressed and fearful when contemplating the defects of samsara especially the hell realms, if i was to do the same practice now, the fear and depression will be replaced by compassion and inspiration/motivation to practice. During refuge and bodhicitta I could not let go of the fact that my visualisations were not super HD. Each step of the way I have let go of expectations, rigidity and tightness. I now understand the keys to fruitful practice is a relaxed and calm mind, free of expectations.
I feel I am more kind and compassionate towards others because I have tried to develop a kind and compassionate attitude towards myself. I am much more gentle with myself, for the first time in my life I have a healthy relationship with myself.
Rinpoche has been very kind in sending two masters who are linked to the monastery. In Dec 2022, Khabje Khenpo arrived, he taught me the ABC’s of dharma, that the most important thing is to be a decent person. Khabje Khenpo also helped me to connect with my Indian heritage, something I had not embraced having been born and raised in the UK. I feel more connected than ever to my Indian roots, when the time is right I would love to go on a pilgrimage to the holy sites.
The second master that arrived was Tulku Pasang, in Jan 2025, he came to teach the group Tummo. I was very fortunate I had the opportunity to film him practicing and then ask him questions about the mind, his answers have instilled a confidence that has never left.
Thank you for benefitting so many beings, thank you for taking the time to read my application.
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Please note I have asked Heidi Koppl to write my letter of recommendation because I have been away for so long and she is in the retreat boundary, however since she is a Dharma friend, if her letter is not acceptable please let me know so I can find a replacement.
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As long as I can remember, this mind has been oriented toward wanting to better understand reality and serve others. From a young age I was attuned to the suffering of myself and others, and demonstrated both a deep capacity for compassion and commitment to justice. This combination of curiosity, compassion, and courage has displayed itself in many different iterations of personal expression, commitment, and affiliations over time. I was raised Catholic and was inspired by the teachings of love and community, but struggled with exclusivity and could not find teachers interested in humoring my existential inquiries. As I continued to grapple with an insatiable urge to find answers for myself and others, I found myself at Ka-Nying Shedrub Ling as a 20 year-old student on a study abroad semester. I was burning with questions and a desire to meet people who had discovered some shred of personal freedom and universal insight. I found that these qualities were endorsed and taught in Buddhism, exhibited by the monastic teachers at RYI, and most powerfully by Chokyi Nyima Rinpoche upon meeting him and receiving Teachings.
I was struck by much during that 2013 semester in Nepal, but most by the dawning reality that there is a living tradition of embodied freedom that is rooted in compassion and wisdom inherent to all beings. It felt then and continues to feel as if the discovering of Buddhist Teachings and Teachers is like discovering a wish-fulfilling jewel. Increasingly it feels more and more like returning home; like discovering new mirrors. After 12 years of deep commitment to learning from and within this tradition, I am blessed to have the aspiration to spend a few years of this life engaged in committed practice under the guidance of Teachers that know and love me, and that I love and trust.
As someone who is naturally very skeptical, I understand for myself the importance of combining study, reflection and meditation. While I have had the aspiration to do a three-year retreat since 2018, I was instructed by Chokyi Nyima Rinpoche to first complete a Masters at RYI. I have therefore strived to understand and apply the Teachings through study until this point, and have been blessed with many opportunities for shorter retreats and group ritual. After completing the MA and spending time serving my Teacher and the center where I hope to retreat, I feel ready and eager to devote myself to practice within the support of extended retreat. I am extremely fortunate to have a close relationship with Chokyi Nyima Rinpoche, Lama Tenzin Sangpo, our monastic sangha, and the community of Gomde Pyrenees such that this particular retreat feels aligned. I have good familiarity with the practices of our lineage, and deep faith in the Teachers that uphold them. To spend the next three and half years cultivating love, compassion, and wisdom for the benefit of all beings is a rare and invaluable opportunity that I have tried my best to prepare for.
Dear Tsadra Foundation,
Retreat, to me, feels like a lifelong calling. Throughout my life, there have been many signs and pointers that seem to lead me to heed the call of going into retreat so that I can work on my mind and hopefully develop an even greater sense of love and compassion. I feel very grateful for all the various wonderful opportunities I have had in my life thus far, between travel, exceptional friendships, family, and teachers - but for me, retreat has been at the forefront of my interests. Ever since I was a little kid, having learned that a time will come where we will all have to die, the five year old me internalized that very deeply, and from that day onward I have felt a deep sense of urgency to do some meaningful spiritual practice in the short time I have here. Having encountered the dharma from my teacher Lama Yeshe Palmo when I was just nineteen, and having been taught Buddhist principles and philosophy that I felt spoke directly to that little five year old me, these insights seem to have helped my dharma mature, and planted seeds for further inquiry into the mind and my life’s purpose.
Much of my life over the past six years have been spent slowly preparing for retreat. Even recently, throughout my entire college life, my experience was flavored with a sense of anticipation for retreat and living in the monastery. It felt as though a strong sense of dharma embraced each day. Now, after nearly three years at KTD Monastery, I can attest and affirm that the longing for the dharma which I had felt all these years, was everything I could have wished for and more. I reflect with gratitude and appreciation, which I owe my vajra brothers and sisters, khenpos, and lamas, for helping me along the way, for teaching me everything from torma making to ritual procedure, learning Tibetan, and learning what it means to live in community and how to be a good spiritual friend. In all of my ups and downs, I’ve learned humility, imperfection, patience, and more - all lessons essential to meet the realities of retreat life.
To me, retreat is many things. Primarily, it is time to really work on my mind, and perhaps a chance to catch a glimpse into its true nature. Further, it is a tribute and way of showing deep gratitude and appreciation to those in my life who have helped me along the way. It is a way of building a relationship with myself and others, and an act of loving service. It is also a gesture of deep reverence for Tibet and a way to uphold the treasury of knowledge that has been so graciously passed down and spread worldwide. I see Tibetan Buddhism in the west in our ever changing world to be of crucial importance. Perhaps if I go into retreat and learn a little and meditate with a sincere heart, it would be of some benefit for others, and a way to carry on the blessings of the lineage gurus.
In doing retreat, my hope is that I can practice sincerely and with great devotion, and cultivate my focus and non-distraction. In the end, I hope to learn how to be available for the world’s needs and the needs of others in a skillful way, to cultivate good morals and values, and learn what it means to be a bodhisattva.
Thank you very much for taking me into consideration for sponsorship, and for supporting countless practitioners and the Buddhist cause as a whole throughout the years.
I remember how the first Buddhist teachings I received touched me so deeply that I had this strong feeling that this is what I had been looking for all my life. And since that time I have put all my heart and energy into study, contemplation and meditation.
I did my first solo retreat very soon after taking refuge, under the recommendation of Ayang Rinpoche, in his monastery in Kathmandu. Since then, I did quite a few solo and group retreat. It’s just something I really like and strive for, something that makes me happy (even if sometimes it can be difficult, especially when one has to face honestly his own defilements). I have this strong urge to do a three year retreat that I can’t really explain rationally. It’s just what I really want to do from the depth of my bones, the core of my heart.
I am extremely tired of creating suffering for myself and others, of circling in these never ending scenarios the mind creates. I deeply wish to clear away these destructive egoistic patterns, to get free from it.
As an high school teacher, I always have been touched by my students and always tried my best to help them, to guide them, to teach them curiosity, openess and love ; even when I didn't know anything yet about Buddhism.
As a practicionner, I aim to transform in order to benefit other beings the best I can. I want to be a good human being, with a good heart, an open mind, kindness, clarity and compassion. Someone who is open to others suffering, who puts oneself into their shoes, and does his best to help them in whichever way can be. I am confident than the more this mind is tamed, the more one is be able to help genuinely, spontaneously.
But for that to happen, it is necessary to untie the tight knot of ego, that obstructs and creates barriers between oneself and others. I feel that this process of transformation I aim for comes by the means of retreat : It is the perfect opportunity to look deeply into and to work with one’s mind in order to replace, patiently and kindly, negative habits with virtuous ones.
Lama Tenzin Sangpo told us once how important it is for us to learn well in order to pass the Dharma on to the future generations who will look to us us once we are the old ones. I feel responsible towards them. I genuinely want to learn as much and as authentically as I can so I will be able to inspire them to practice the Dharma.
Finally, this three year retreat is what my main teacher,Chökyi Nyima Rinpoche, recommended me. He told me that this is very good for me and that I will do well. I trust him and will do my best to respect his wishes by doing a good retreat.
I thank you for your kind consideration.
Spending the last three year in retreat in Gomde Pyrénées enabled me to change a lot. I went through many different phases, learned many lessons and I am immensely grateful towards the Tsadra Foundation for having supported me into that process. It was meanly a deep emotional healing, grounding, and settling down work. Somehow, these three go hand by hand. There is no true calm without seeing through our neurosis, and no better way to tame our demons that going back to the body, where the strong emotions begin and from where we can welcome our feelings with acceptance and openness. Then only can we access our true home, in a grounded body, an open heart and a calm mind.
I am glad I did this work. There was no way around, and it was very necessary. But now, I long to stay in retreat for another three years in order to go deeper, further. To transform the mind, and the heart, we need a lot of time. I feel the urge to sit for many more sessions, days, weeks, months and years. To allow the time and the blessings of my teacher to help me to open more and more often to that space that is my inherent nature ; and to get so used to it that it becomes my state, my landscape, my home. I want to attain stability and from that space, that is clear, loving and free of ego clinging ; help others to free themselves too. And it doesn’t matter if I reach results in this life or another. I have trust in karma and in the power of my intentions and aspirations.
I can also see how my practice has improved over the time and I can't wait to go again through the different practices of our retreat program, especially the Ngöndro. They will have a totally different flavor now that I matured a bit and it will be very joyful to have the opportunity to understand those better and deeper.
I know by experience that retreat is not always easy, especially the first year. We were the first group and we had to settle everything, which means we had a lot of challenges, made a lot of mistakes, learned a lot from them, and improved over the time. I hope that thanks to the little of experience I gained, I can help the newcomers to have a smoother retreat. It can be just by listening to someone going through difficulties ; being there, with a smile. I think it can help a lot just to have a few people around who already did a long retreat. Group retreat are a formidable opportunity to develop Bodhicitta, right here, right now rather than keeping it as mere words on a cushion towards distant fellows.
It is my sincere wish to dedicate my life to the Dharma and I hope that the Tsadra Foundation will support me to do so for another three year retreat.
B
I don't know whether or not this will amount to 500 words, but here goes. Ever since I met the previous Kyabje Kalu Rinpoche in Europe in the early 1980's and particularly since having received the Rinchen Terdzo empowerments from him in Sonada in 1983, it was my strong wish to enter into a 3-year-retreat according to the Shangpa tradition.
Kalu Rinpoche advised me then to be patient as I would be doing it under Tenga Rinpoche's guidance. Well, I've been patient, and in 2009 Tenga Rinpoche finally gave the Shangpa transmissions here in our monastery in Svayambhunath. About half a year later the construction of our Nigu Drubkhang in Pharping began. It is not quite finished yet, but we hope to be able to enter retreat in Nov. or Dec. of this year (2011).
Having been a student of Kyabje Tenga Rinpoche ever since, who is well known as the senior vajra master of the Karma Kagyu school, the importance of practice has always been impressed on me strongly. Despite having done about seven or eight years of solitary retreats, doing various practices, the wish of doing the full Shangpa curriculum has never left me. I've been practicing LashiDrilDrub, GyudeLhanga and Chagdrugpa for years (last winter I did another 3 month Chagdrugpa retreat based on the TrinleTerdzo Drubthab accumulating another million mantras), but now the time has finally come to learn it all.
I have no particular wish to become a teacher myself, but if I ever were so unfortunate, I would rather speak from experience than from theoretical knowledge. My many years as Tenga Rinpoche's interpreter have shown me very clearly that the only hope for benefitting beings at all, lies in gaining at least some insight and experience through personal practice. So, that's mostly it. Hope not to have bored you too much...
Thomas [Sherab Drime] +
I was born in 1971 in communist Albania to Greek parents. Due to my family having a history of not being supporters of the communist regime, in 1986, military trucks came to our house and transported our entire family, at gunpoint, to a small village at the foot of a mountain, far from our home, and told us that we had been sentenced to stay in exile for five years. In 1989, this sentence was reduced and we were allowed to return home. One month after our return, at the age of 18, I escaped from Albania to Greece. Escaping from Albania was not an easy task. the Greek-Albanian boarder was closed off by fences with sensors, and many traps. Many people who tried and got caught were tied behind military trucks and dragged on roads through villages as an example of what happens to the enemies of communism.
The US Embassy in Greece gave me political asylum, and I went to new York. The people who I met in New York, and was able to communicate with, I only spoke Greek and Albanian at the time, were in illegal business. I saw no other choice but to do what they did. In 1996, at the age of 25, I was arrested, and in 2000 was sentenced to 42 1/2 years to life in prison. I knew then that I would spend the rest of my life in prison. I decided that I would give myself entirely to the Buddhist study and practice. For many years I studied and meditated for seven to eight hours a day. In 2008, I did over 150,000 prostrations in my cell over a period of several months. I facilitated Buddhist classes, and led meditation retreats.
My main aspiration during my twenty years in prison was to be able to participate in a three year retreat under the guidance of a qualified teacher. I remember calling upon all the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas asking them to bless me that my karma may shift so that I may get out of prison to do such a retreat. Knowing how tricky the mind can be, I also asked that if they could foresee that if I get out I would not continue the practice, that they may create obstacles so that I may never get out but continue to practice in prison.
After many years, my karma shifted. A very serious violation by the District Attorney that had occurred during my trial was discovered. After several meetings between my attorney, the district attorney, and the judge, it was agreed that my sentence be reduced, and I be released from prison.
I believe, therefore, that I have no other reason for being out here other than participating in this three year retreat, and continuing thereafter practicing the dharma in order to realize my true potential to benefit living beings.
I greatly appreciate your time in reviewing and considering my application
I gave up my ten years of professional career with the intention of dedicating the rest of my life to the Dharma and as little of anything else as possible. Over the last eleven years of pursuing Dharma study, contemplation, and practice—I have always had a strong and deep intention of doing a long retreat, and have been gearing my mind for this in the past ten years.
A three-year retreat is the perfect opportunity to expand and deepen my understanding of the Dharma so as to truly combine the intellectual and experiential understanding of my mind. And among the great lamas I have had the fortune to meet, I feel that meeting Garchen Rinpoche is the single greatest fortune in my life and it would simply be amazing to do a retreat in his vicinity.
I pray that I would be able to improve my service to the propagation of Dharma through this retreat. Thank you very much for kind consideration! +
